The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010)

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010) poster
Rating: ★★
Epic Fantasy Adventure/Magical Otherworld

Another lacklustre entry in the banal Lord of the Rings Lite franchise from C.S. Lewis’s books, a plodding run of the mill fantasy adventure for the most part. The mediocre reception killed off interest in the series

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) poster
Rating: ★★
Epic Fantasy Adventure

Peter Jackson returns to J.R.R. Tolkien and epic-sized adventure in the first of his Hobbit films. The visual sweep is there but the film feels over-extruded and over-burdened by its own self-importance.

Jack and the Beanstalk: The Real Story (2001)

Jack and the Beanstalk: The Real Story (2001) poster
Rating: ★★
Revisionist Fairytale

TV mini-series co-produced by Hallmark Entertainment and The Jim Henson Company that offers an intriguing deconstruction of the fairytale that reverses the traditional sympathies

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Alice in Wonderland (2010) poster
Rating: ★★
Alice in Wonderland Adaptation/Epic Adventure

Tim Burton takes on Lewis Carroll but Carroll gets lost beneath Burton doing his usual quirky eccentric thing and a plot that seems to want to turn Alice’s adventures into a modern epic fantasy

Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom (2016)

Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Animation/Young H.P. Lovecraft's Adventures

H.P. Lovecraft is a cult horror writer whose work brims over with a sense of cosmic dread. One of the most bizarre Lovecraft film adaptations is this work of children’s animation featuring a young Lovecraft

Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)

Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Alice in Wonderland Sequel

Sequel to the 2010 Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland. This has even less in common with Lewis Carroll’s book sequel than its predecessor did – a total of two scenes. The sets and effects are just pretty eye candy

The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (1999)

The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (1999) poster
Rating: ★★
Children's Film/Small Furry Creature's Adventures

A rather slight film spinoff red-furred Elmo, the popular character from Sesame Street. A film designed for very young children.

Going Postal (2010)

Going Postal (2010) poster
Rating: ★★
Terry Pratchett Adaptation

A disappointing tv mini-series adaptation of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novel, which has been (largely) played as a straight adventure with the usual Pratchett comedy taking a backseat

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) poster
Rating: ★½
Epic Fantasy Adventure

The Hobbit became Peter Jackson’s equivalent of the Star Wars prequels and this is the weakest work he has produced under the J.R.R. Tolkien banner. Five picaresque chapters of the book are extruded into bloated set-pieces

Arthur and the Two Worlds War (2010)

Arthur and the Two Worlds War (2010) poster
Rating:
Miniature Magical World

Luc Besson has made some phenomenal action films but I just can’t seem to get into his trilogy of children’s films. This was the third. A silly effort written down to a very juvenile level and padded with inane humour

Twitches (2005)

Twitches (2005) poster
Rating:
Twin Sister Witches

Inane Disney Channel film with twin sisters Tia and Tamera Mowry as sisters who didn’t know it who discover they are witches. A film that has zero interest in its fantasy elements and is entirely taken up by airhead teenage airhead natter

Alice Through the Looking Glass (1987)

Alice Through the Looking Glass (1987) poster
Rating:
Animation/Alice in Wonderland Film

Obscure animated children’s movie adaptation of Alice in Wonderland that commits the sin of modernising and Americanizing Alice

Alice in Wonderland (1985)

Alice in Wonderland (1985) poster
Rating:
Alice in Wonderland TV Adaptation

From Irwin Allen, the creator of Lost in Space etc, a tv version of Alice in Wonderland, conceived as an all-star musical that comes out as ponderous and leaden in Allen’s hands

Arthur and the Revenge of Maltazard (2009)

Arthur and the Revenge of Maltazard (2009) poster
Rating:
Miniature Magical World

This was the second of Luc Besson’s Minimoys films, partly animated children’s films set in a world of miniature creatures. Here the charms of the first film seem thinly stretched

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026)

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) poster
Rating:
Animation/Videogame Adaptation

Sequel to the animated The Super Mario Bros. Movie, which was the second highest grossing film of 2023. From the people behind the Despicable Me films, this exists as little more than eye candy for five-year-olds

Earthsea (2004)

Earthsea (2004) poster
Rating:
Epic Fantasy/Apprentice Wizard

This TV mini-series adaptation of the Ursula Le Guin books is an insult. This was quickly mounted on the back of the success of The Lord of the Rings films but feels like tv filler that has zero affinity for Le Guin’s richly cultured world

The Neverending Story II: The Next Chapter (1990)

The Neverending Story II: The Next Chapter (1990) poster
Rating:
Adventures in a Fantasy Land

Sequel to The Neverending Story made with a better budget. This delivers some amazing sets and creature designs but is killed with a script that discards the metaphors and complex level of meta-fiction of the original

In the Name of the King: Two Worlds (2011)

In the Name of the King: Two Worlds (2011) poster
Rating:
Epic Fantasy Adventure

Uwe Boll strikes again! Sequel to his passable earlier epic fantasy, which is dragged down by a lack of action and the need to provide star Dolph Lundgren with a series of excrutiating witticims

The Other Side of the Mirror (2016)

The Other Side of the Mirror (2016) poster
Rating: ½
Darker Version of Alice in Wonderland

This sets out to offer a dark take on Alice in Wonderland but leaves you scratching you head. At most the Wonderland characters take a lot of drugs, along with a haphazard mix of scenes from the book cheaply shot

In the Name of the King 3 (2014)

In the Name of the King 3 (2014) poster
Rating: ½
Epic Fantasy Adventure

A Uwe Boll film that feels as though he didn’t cared about what he was making. You’d have to go back to the Italian sword-and-sorcery films of the 1980s to find a more shoddy work of epic fantasy

Descendants (2015)

Descendants (2015) poster
Rating:
The Children of Disney Villains

This has an appealing premise – the children of all the Disney villains have grown up and go to school together. This is promptly killed by the awfulness of the film itself, which is essentially High School Musical set in the Disney universe

Ella Enchanted (2004)

Ella Enchanted (2004) poster
Rating:
Revisionist Cinderella Comedy

Excruciatingly awful take on Cinderella, which overruns the fairytale with hip contemporary in-jokes and pop culture references, shredding any suspension of disbelief in its desire to appeal to a modern teen cool

Epic Movie (2007)

Epic Movie (2007) poster
Rating:
Parodies of Various Films

Probably the worst of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer witless and painfully unfunny films – this just consists of a series of vulgar gags run over a bunch of scenes from films that came out in the last twelve months

Descendants 2 (2017)

Descendants 2 (2017) poster
Rating:
The Children of Disney Villains

Sequel to the painfully bad Disney Channel film that copied the success of High School Musical and featured the teenage children of classic Disney animated villains. This is just as empty-headed and unwatchable