Vinnie Jones Archives

Mysterious Island (2005)

Rating: ★

Oct 9, 2008Desert Island Survival/Giant Animals

Hallmark tv mini-series adaptation of Jules Verne's desert island drama featuring no less than Patrick Stewart as Captain Nemo. This sinks badly amid incredibly shoddy giant animal digital effects

Director: Russell Mulcahy

Actors: Kyle MacLachlan, Patrick Stewart, Gabrielle Anwar, Vinnie Jones, …

Category: Science Fiction

9 October 200822 September 2023 by Roog

Submerged (2005)

Rating: ★★

Mar 29, 2008Action Film/Mind Control

Steven Seagal submarine action where he tackles a terrorist who has perfected mind control techniques

Director: Anthony Hickox

Actors: Steven Seagal, Vinnie Jones, Nick Brimble, William Hope, …

Category: Science Fiction

29 March 20083 July 2025 by Roog

Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (2006)

Rating: ★

Nov 10, 2006Lazy Talking Cat

Where the first live-action Garfield film approximated the original comic-strip and its focus on a cat delivering sarcastic lines, this sequel pitches everything down to the level of an inane children's film

Director: Tim Hill

Actors: Breckin Meyer, Billy Connolly, Bill Murray, Jennifer Love Hewitt, …

Category: Fantasy

10 November 200625 October 2025 by Roog

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Rating: ★★

Jun 21, 2006Comic-Book Superheroes

Brett Ratner inherits the X-Men franchise from Bryan Singer for the third film in the series and promptly killed it off (after this point everything became prequels featuring Young X-Men). Ratner's handling of the superheroic action lacks Singer's exhilaration or any affinity for the characters

Director: Brett Ratner

Actors: Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Famke Janssen, …

Category: Science Fiction

21 June 200612 October 2024 by Roog

Tooth and Nail (2007)

Rating: ★★½

Apr 8, 2015Post-Holocaust Survival

Modest post-holocaust film that tries to do something different to the usual action derbies of Mad Max 2 et al, focusing on the survival efforts of a group of young people

Director: Mark Young

Actors: Robert Carradine, Rachel Miner, Rider Strong, Michael Kelly, …

Category: Science Fiction

8 April 20156 July 2026 by Roog

The Condemned (2007)

Rating: ★★

Feb 13, 2009Barehands Survivalism/Deadly Reality TV Show

An action movie where the toughest criminals are forced into a barehanded survivalism competition against one another while this is livestreamed. As the hero, wrestler Steve Austin has zero charisma

Director: Scott Wiper

Actors: Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones, Robert Mammone, Victoria Mussett, …

Category: Horror

13 February 200914 January 2026 by Roog

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

Rating: ★★★★

May 1, 2010Ritual Killer on the Subway/Clive Barker Adaptation

One of the best Clive Barker adaptations. Japan's Ryuhei Kitamura brings a masterful assurance with the horror elements and does gore in astonishingly new and unrealised ways

Director: Ryuhei Kitamura

Actors: Bradley Cooper, Vinnie Jones, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, …

Category: Horror

1 May 20102 March 2023 by Roog

Year One (2009)

Rating: ★★

Jan 30, 2010Cavemen Stumble Through the Old Testament Comedy

Not very funny comedy from Harold Ramis and Judd Apatow where Jack Black and Michael Cera are cavemen who stumble through many incidents from the Old Testament

Director: Harold Ramis

Actors: Jack Black, Michael Cera, David Cross, Oliver Platt, …

Category: Fantasy

30 January 201017 June 2025 by Roog

Age of the Dragons (2011)

Rating: ★★

Jul 29, 2015Epic Fantasy/Moby Dick With Dragons

This has a concept so ridiculous it might actually work – a fantasy version of Moby Dick. The sea captain's obsessive hunt for a whale is transplanted to a fantasy kingdom and the whale made into a dragon

Director: Ryan Little

Actors: Corey Sevier, Danny Glover, Sofia Pernas, Vinnie Jones, …

Category: Fantasy

29 July 20156 November 2025 by Roog

Cross (2011)

Rating: ★★

Jan 22, 2014Action Film/Mystical Artifacts

A copy of The Expendables (albeit with the addition of fantasy elements) that brings together a line-up of B-action movie actors as a team. While some of the actors shine, the feel is of a cheaper effort earnestly trying to copy its betters

Director: Patrick Durham

Actors: Brian Austin Green, Michael Clarke Duncan, Vinnie Jones, Susie Abromeit, …

Category: Fantasy

22 January 201412 January 2026 by Roog

Fractured (2013)

Rating: ★★

Mar 26, 2015Amnesiac Man Struggles Between Hell and Redemption

Film about an amnesiac man trying to piece his disturbing past together amid a series of surreal nightmares. This ends up not nearly as interesting as you feel it could have been

Director: Adam Gierasch

Actors: Callum Blue, Vinnie Jones, Ashlynn Yennie, Nicole LaLiberte, …

Category: Horror

26 March 20158 February 2026 by Roog

Cross Wars (2017)

Rating: ★

Apr 13, 2018Action Team vs Immortal Villain

Cross was a low-budget attempt to copy The Expendables, featuring a C-list team of action stars (plus some fantasy elements). This is a sequel you doubt many people were burning to see

Director: Patrick Durham

Actors: Brian Austin Green, Vinnie Jones, Danny Trejo, Tim Abell, …

Category: Fantasy

13 April 201812 January 2026 by Roog

Cross: Rise of the Villains (2019)

Rating: ★

Feb 29, 2024Action Team

Third of the Cross films, a more fantastical variant on The Expendables, bringing 90s action actors back out of mothballs to form a team as they face various super-villains in present-day L.A.

Director: Patrick Durham, Paul G. Volk

Actors: Brian Austin Green, Danny Trejo, Lori Heuring, Jumahn Jones, …

Category: Fantasy

29 February 202412 January 2026 by Roog