Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) poster
Rating: ★★
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The third of Michael Bay’s Transformers films. While the human scenes opt for a ghastly miscalculated sense of humour, the effects houses are at the peak of their game, even if Bay allows them to drag the mass destruction out to a numbing excess

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The first of Michael Bay’s Transformers sequels has even better effects and more copious mass destruction to the point it washes over you without any effect

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) poster
Rating: ★½
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The fifth of Michael Bay’s Transformers films. This comes with more of an outright comedy focus than any of the other films where Bay seems to be second-guessing his critics and spoofing his own peccadilloes in quote marks, only to produce the silliest entry in the series yet

Turkey Shoot (2014)

Turkey Shoot (2014) poster
Rating:
Human Hunting/Near Future Reality TV Show

Remake of the Ozploitation film where the original’s Most Dangerous Game scenario set in a dystopian future is lamely rewritten as a reality tv show and another Hunger Games ripoff. The original was fairly terrible; this has a lack of conviction in most regards that makes it even worse

2019: After the Fall of New York (1983)

2019: After the Fall of New York (1983) poster
Rating: ★★
Post-Holocaust Action

One of the more cheesily entertaining among the Italian-made ripoffs of Mad Max 2 during the 1980s (as well as more than a few dashes of Escape from New York). The film works up a moderate head of steam

Ultraviolet (2006)

Ultraviolet (2006) poster
Rating: ★★★
Dystopian Future Action/Vampire Mutations

Milla Jovovich is a part of a vampire rebel underground in a dystopian future. A film filled with incredible design schemes and action scenes that are as spectacular as they are ridiculously improbable

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) poster
Rating:
Action/Advanced Weaponry

Sequel to Under Siege in which Steven Seagal was a lone individual in a Die Hard scenario defending a battleship against a terrorist takeover; this is the same but with Seagal defending a train

Underworld: Awakening (2012)

Underworld: Awakening (2012) poster
Rating: ★½
Vampire-Werewolf War

Yet another entry that nobody asked for in a conceptually threadbare series that nobody seems to like … passably better than the last two sequels due to some ok action moves but still empty-headed in terms of ideas

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Underworld: Evolution (2006) poster
Rating:
Vampire-Werewolf War

The second of the Underworld films where Len Wiseman gets a bigger budget and amplifies the CGI and action sequences,. On the other hand, the characters and story are so stripped to a minimum you lose track of why things are happening

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2005) poster
Rating:
Vampire-Werewolf War

Third of the Underworld films, a prequel to the previous entries. In truth, it is just the same as the others – lots of kinetic action moves and Gothic poses with little in the way of plot

Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998)

Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998) poster
Rating: ★½
Undead Super-Soldiers/Action

he second of two cheap video-released sequels to the Jean-Claude Van Damme film. This has the novelty of featuring Burt Reynolds as the bad guy

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012) poster
Rating: ★★★
Super-Soldiers/Action/Identity Bender

Sixth entry in the series, this throws out all the themes the previous sequels operated by and feels like a Universal Soldier film written by Philip K. Dick with utterly fascinating results. John Hyams hits in with a brutal intensity that shows he is one of the most exciting up and coming action directors

Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009)

Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
Undead Super-Soldiers/Action

The fifth of the Universal Soldier films reuniting both Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, while being given a tough, brutal action punch by director John Hyams

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) poster
Rating:
Undead Super-Soldiers/Action

Sequel to Roland Emmerich’s Universal Soldier, this brings back Jean-Claude Van Damme but otherwise substitutes a brain dead plot that has him facing an evil A.I.

Vice (2015)

Vice (2015) poster
Rating:
Rogue Pleasure Android

Bruce Willis is the CEO of a corporation that provides customers with androids to use for whatever vices they want. Very similar to tv’s recent Westworld but has a script so boneheaded you can almost imagine it acted as an example for Westworld to do the exact opposite

Virtuosity (1995)

Virtuosity (1995) poster
Rating: ½
Android Serial Killer

Director Brett Leonard started the fascination with Virtual Reality off with The Lawnmower Man but shot himself in the foot with this absurd braindead follow-up in which Denzel Washington pursues a madly OTT Russell Crowe as an android serial killer

Waterworld (1995)

Waterworld (1995) poster
Rating: ★★
Post-Holocaust Drowned Earth

The most expensive film ever made at the time, a Kevin Costner epic in which he is a lone mariner in a drowned world where survivors cling to shantytowns floating on the surface. Essentially a Mad Max film located on water.

The World is Not Enough (1999)

The World is Not Enough (1999) poster
Rating: ★★★½
James Bond Film

The third and best of Pierce Brosnan’s outings as James Bond. All the aspects of the formula are contained within a strong plot and Sophie Marceau proves a standout in a role that combines both villain and love interest

xXx (2002)

xXx (2002) poster
Rating:
Extreme Adventure Sports Spy

One of the most brainless action films ever made. This has the laughable notion of trying to make a James Bond film but recasting it with Vin Diesel as an extreme sports junkie. Everything about the film is absurd.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)

xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) poster
Rating: ★★
Extreme Adventure Sports Spy

xXx, with Vin Diesel as an extreme sports junkie version of James Bond, was ridiculous. This second sequel surprisingly turns out halfway watchable, keeping the stunts moving fast and introducing an ensemble to build this out as a Fast and the Furious-type franchise