A Pass from the Back (2004)
Toy Footballer Comes to Life
Oddball German comedy in which a toy table footballer magically comes to life and becomes a star soccer player
Films of 2004
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Christian Torture Film
Mel Gibson wants to give us a film that shows Jesus’s suffering leading up to the Crucifixion but has taken it to such an extreme that he has actually created a Torture Porn film that gives the Saw and Hostel franchises a run for their money
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Disfigured Madman Beneath the Opera House/Musical Adaptation
The long-planned film adaptation of The Phantom musical emerges as disaster under Joel Schumacher. The Phantom’s presence has all been watered down and the film exists as no more than a series of scenographic poses
The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)
Anime/Alternate History/Mysterious Tower
Beautiful anime from Makoto Shinkai, made in the Hayao Miyazaki style set in an alternate history Japan concerning a mysterious hyper-dimensional tower
The Polar Express (2004)
Animation/Train Journey to the North Pole
This broke ground in being the first animated film made using the motion-capture process. Robert Zemeckis directs with a quite magical touch
Premonition (2004)
Newspaper Headlines That Predict Deaths
Japanese horror film about a professor who receives newspaper headlines that predict deaths before they occur
Prey (2004)
Australian Monster Movie
Obscure Australian film about people being hunted by a mythical creature known as The Yowie
Primer (2004)
Mysterious Scientific Experiment/Time Travel
Complex and fascinating film where two friends accidentally create a time machine and soon faces multiple versions of themselves
The Punisher (2004)
Comic-Book Vigilante
Amid the huge surge of Marvel Comics adaptations in the early 2000s, there came this version of The Punisher. Cast with Thomas Jane, the film is tepid and singularly lacking in the grim, dark avenging violence of the comic-book
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Videogame Adaptation/City of Zombies
The first of the Resident Evil sequels and a better film than its predecessor, getting in a series of spectacular, if at times ridiculously silly, action sequences
Riding the Bullet (2004)
Car Ride with the Dead/Stephen King Adaptation
One of the worst Stephen King adaptations due to being placed in the hands of Mick Garris, a director who has no concept of subtlety and constantly tries to turn every scene into a pop-up scare like a tatty carnival haunted house ride
Romasanta: The Werewolf Hunt (2004)
"True Life" Werewolf
From Paco Plaza, a beautifully made film supposedly based on a true incident featuring Julian Sands as a man placed on trail in 19th Century Spain with the defence that he is a werewolf
Rottweiler (2004)
Killer Cyborg Dog
Brian Yuzna usually makes well worthwhile films but this one about an escaped prisoner hunted by a killer cyborg dog fails to come together
Saint Ange (2004)
French Ghost Story
The first film from Pascal Laugier who has emerged as a leading French horror director since, a ghost story set at a girl’s boarding school, Laugier does produce some eerie jumps but the script is a frustrating tangle of narrative loose ends
‘Salem’s Lot (2004)
Town of Vampires/Stephen King Adaptation
TV mini-series remake of the Stephen King novel, this fails to hold a candle to the earlier 1979 version
Satan’s Little Helper (2004)
Kid Befriends a Serial Killer on Halloween
From Jeff Lieberman, a wonderfully malicious film where a young kid befriends and ends up aiding a serial killer on Halloween
Saw (2004)
Killer's Sadistic Games
Forget the grim and sadistic sequels that followed, this low-budget directorial debut from James Wan is a masterwork that conjures unbearable dread and tension in its study of characters forced to consider the horribly inconceivable
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)
Ghostbusting Team/Cartoon in Live-Action
Sequel to the live-action Scooby-Doo, this is at least a better film than its predecessor, being more polished in its slapstick and effects but still has no more ambition beyond being a silly no-brain film
Secret Window (2004)
Sinister Stranger/Stephen King Adaptation
Stephen King adaptation with Johnny Depp as a writer in a cabin in the woods harassed by mysterious stranger John Turturro. Screenwriter David Koepp directs a marvellously chill Turturro with lots of twisty surprises
Seed of Chucky (2004)
Child's Play Sequel
The fifth and most enjoyable of the Chucky films, this amplifies the black humour to an outrageously funny level, while conducting an hilarious meta-fiction with Jennifer Tilly playing herself
Shallow Ground (2004)
Backwoods Mysteriousness
A film filled with weird, constantly intriguing directorial effects, although you eventually have to accept that none of it makes any sense
Shark Tale (2004)
Animation/Talking Fish
DreamWorks animated talking fish film that was dismissed in the shadow of Pixar’s earlier Finding Nemo but is perfectly likeable in its own right
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Zombie Comedy
A warm parody/tribute to the George Romero zombie films that saw the emergence of Simon Pegg as a star. It also saw the zombie film move towards a more comedic emphasis, although few subsequent entries come with such good-natured humour
Shrek 2 (2004)
Animation/Fairytale Spoof
Shrek was a fresh and original hit. The first of four insipid sequels, this seems to merely coast by on our liking of the characters while upping the fairytale parody
Shutter (2004)
Thai Ghost Story
A Thai ghost story that later underwent a lesser Hollywood remake, this generates quite a degree of atmosphere in the story of a photographer who is haunted by a ghost girl who appears out of his photographs
Six: The Mark Unleashed (2004)
Biblical End Times/Antichrist Dystopia
Christian work about the Biblical End Times set in a dystopia where everyone is forced to accept the Mark of the Beast. Starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, no less!
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
Retro SF Adventure/Flying Ace Hero
Superlative film that recreates an imagined world of 1930s retro sf filled with flyer heroes, giant robots and stunning Art Deco designs.
Species III (2004)
Alien Sex Fiend
The third of the Species films, which follows Sil’s daughter. Some okay makeup effects but the plotting gets fairly silly
Spider Forest (2004)
Enigmatic South Korean Horror
South Korean horror film that feels like The Sixth Sense crossed with the enigmatic games of Don’t Look Now. The film takes place in a cryptically baffling mandala of dreams, hallucinations and possible deathdream that eventually proves rather absorbing
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Comic-Book Superhero
Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire get it just right in the second entry in their trilogy of Spider-Man films. The writing team deliver a fantastic Soul of the Superhero script while Raimi delivers some superheroic action sequences that are about as exciting as it is possible to get (*)
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004)
TV Series Spinoff/Gonzo Animation
Spongebob Squarepants was a sleeper hit on the Nickelodeon Channel that crossed over to find an adult following; this is the first of the film spinoffs. The film comes with a zanily surreal sense of humour that ran through the series that is frequently downright hilarious
Steamboy (2004)
Steampunk Anime
Sixteen years after making Akira, Katsuhiro Otomo returns to direct a full-length anime, making a Steampunk work that is dazzling in its epic quality and vistas of mass destruction
The Stepford Wives (2004)
Android Housewife Replacements Comedy
Frank Oz conducts a remake of The Stepford Wives, which becomes a broad comedy take on the gender wars in the modern world
Strings (2004)
World of Puppets
Absolutely extraordinary film that takes place in a world inhabited by marionettes on strings, something that is built out into a complex metaphor and worldview
Suspect Zero (2004)
Serial Killer Thriller
Serial killer thriller with Aaron Eckhart on the trail of an ambiguous Ben Kingsley. This offers some interesting twists but fails in the core issue of developing it into an absorbing thriller plot
Taking Lives (2004)
Serial Killer Thriller
Serial killer thriller with Angelina Jolie as an FBI profiler tracking a killer in Montreal and becoming involved with suspect Ethan Hawke. The plot falls apart in some shabby twists
Team America: World Police (2004)
Political Satire/Adult Puppet Show
South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone conduct an hilarious parody of Gerry Anderson via real world politics and a very adult sense of humour
10.5 (2004)
Disaster Mini-Series/California Super-Quake
Disaster mini-series based around the great belief that a super-earthquake will come and pitch most of California into the ocean. Despite devoting some four hour of screen time to it, the drama feels painfully padded at times, while the special effects sequences come out as not very special
They Came Back (2004)
The Dead Return to Life
A French zombie film that is about as far removed from a zombie film as it possible to get – the dead inexplicably return to life not to eat the flesh of the living but calm and detached where society’s problem is how to let them return to their previous lives
13 Going on 30 (2004)
Young Girl in a Woman's Body
Essentially a rehash of Big in which a tormented teen wishes she was thirty and wakes up as Jennifer Garner. Amiably average without ever finding the wistful charms that Big had
Three … Extremes (2004)
Asian Horror Anthology
Standout horror anthology designed to highlight episodes from three Asian directors – Hong Kong’s Fruit Chan, South Korea’s Park Chan-wook and Japan’s Takashi Miike – all of whom are on top form
Thunderbirds (2004)
Hi-Tech Rescue Organisation/TV Series Remake
This live-action film version of the cult Gerry Anderson puppet series is a disaster. Great effort is made to replicate the look of the original but the film is killed by the choice to rewrite everything as a modern formula kid’s movie
Trauma (2004)
Reality Blurring Hallucinations
Colin Firth is released from hospital following the death of his wife but experiences a series of reality-blurring hallucinations
Trekkies 2 (2004)
Star Trek Fandom Documentary
A sequel to the Star Trek fandom documentary Trekkies. Here the filmmakers and Denise Crosby return to take in international fandom in all its permutations
Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004)
Monster Movie
The fourth of the Tremors films.; It is a surprise that the series has managed to remain consistently enjoyable despite a limited premise. The main spin here is an origin story that takes the series back to the West
Tropical Malady (2004)
Thai Anthology/Ghost Tiger
An early film from Apichatpong Weerasethakul, two tales – the first a gay love story, the second about a ghost tiger
The Tulse Luper Suitcases, Part 2: From Vaux to the Sea (2004)
Surreal Mock Biography
The second part of Peter Greenaway’s massive multi-media installation, a surreal mock biography dominated by Greenaway’s fascination with nonsense lists. Gorgeous to look it but does it make for a dramatically engaging a film?
The Tulse Luper Suitcases Part 3: From Sark to the Finish (2004)
Surreal Mock Biography
The third and final of Peter Greenaway’s Tulse Luper films, a sprawling mock biography that is more like a mad multi-media art installation than a film, filled with digressions, endless lists and obscure jokes
Twisted (2004)
Serial Killer Thriller
Disappointing Philip Kaufman thriller where detective Ashley Judd finds she is dealing with a serial killer who is obsessed with her
2046 (2004)
Memories of Lost Relationships
An exquisitely dreamy Wong Kar Wai film as a man remembers his liaisons with various women. Only peripherally a science-fiction film concerning a story the protagonist is writing.
Van Helsing (2004)
Monster Hunter/Famous Monster Bash
Stephen Sommers conducts a big-budget rehash of a 1940s Universal monster bash. A film so overloaded with CGI bombast and general overkill it becomes utterly absurd.
The Village (2004)
Pioneer Town/Mysterious Creatures in the Woods
M. Night Shyamalan creates three-quarters of a tense and eerie film about a 19th Century village under siege from mysterious creatures only for it to fall apart when he produces a damp squib of a twist ending
Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie – Pyramid of Light (2004)
Anime/Playing Card Dueling
An animated film based on the hit playing card phenomenon, which proves largely incomprehensible to anybody not versed in the game
Zebraman (2004)
Japanese Superhero
Head-scratching effort from Japan’s Takashi Miike about a schoolteacher who gains superpowers after putting on a costume from his favourite superhero tv series. Miike never seems to be mounting a parody, while the film is too low-budgeted to ever work in terms of kick-ass superheroic action
Zombie Honeymoon (2004)
Zombie Relationship Drama
The surprise in seeing this after the tide of gonzo mash-ups and wacky title collusions that has taken over the zombie genre in the latter half of the 00s is that, despite the title, it is a zombie film that is playing itself seriously, emerging as another variant on the zombie relationship drama (*)
Zombie Nation (2004)
Zombie Film
Not to be confused with tv’s Z Nation, this for a time ranked on the IMDB’s Worst Films of All-Time list . It’s been called the Worst Zombie Film Ever made, although I’d suggest other contenders