Peelers (2016)

Peelers (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Strippers vs Zombies

There have been a surprising number of films in recent years offering up the combination of zombies and strippers. Although what we have is never quite specified as zombies, this offers up strippers kicking zombie ass with a great deal of gore-drenched relish

Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday (2016)

Pee-Wee's Big Holiday (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Overgrown Adolescent's Nonsense Adventures

Pee-Wee Herman is a deliberately annoying character that is either adored or intensely loathed by audiences. This third film closely follows the structure of the first film with Pee-Wee in a series of nonsense adventures on a cross-country journey

Passengers (2016)

Passengers (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★★
Cryogenic Sleepers Awake Aboard a Space Voyage

The gratifying pleasure of a solid conceptually-driven science-fiction film – all based around the premise of “what if a cryogenic sleeper woke up halfway through a deep space voyage?” and the moral choices he must make. Strong, intelligent character-driven science-fiction and possibly the best designed film of the year

Parasites (2016)

Parasites (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Killer Homeless People

This reverses the sympathies of films like Deliverance and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Rather than having people tortured by backwoods hicks, one man is forced to survive on a brutal run for his life through the more disreputable parts of L.A. while hunted by homeless.

Paradox (2016)

Paradox (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Time Travel Experiment Goes Wrong

There have been some ingenious time paradox films in recent years, this is a modest low-budget offering in which a scientist travels one hour into the future only to find everybody at the lab has been killed. Returning in time, he tries to stop everything from happening.

Pandorica (2016)

Pandorica (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Post-Holocaust

This comes with a premise that holds interest – it many years after the collapse of civlisation where three youth are taken into the woods on a rite of passage only to encounter someone from another tribe fleeing with an object that makes the possessor a god – a handgun

Pandemic (2016)

Pandemic (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Zombie First Person Shooter Found Footage Film

While the title leads you to expect a plague outbreak film, you soon discover this is a zombie film. What it is is a Found Footage film mounted as a First Person Shooter film at which you have to admit that it launches into action with considerable gusto and ferocity

Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)

Ouija Origin of Evil (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Ouija Board Unleashes Malevolent Spirits

Blumhouse’s Ouija didn’t get many good reviews but they proceeded with a prequel here. This is automatically the better film from the outset by employing Mike Flanagan, behind amazing works like Absentia, Hush and The Haunting of Hill House, as director, even if it comes out as one of Flanagan’s lesser works

Personal Shopper (2016)

Personal Shopper (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Possible Ghost Story/Mystery Texter

Olivier Assayas’s high-profile but wildly critically divided work feels as though it has several competing plots circling around Kristen Stewart – a ghost story, one about a mystery texter and briefly a murder mystery – which feel incomplete and unfinished and only maybe intersecting with one another

The Other Side of the Mirror (2016)

The Other Side of the Mirror (2016) poster
Rating: ½
Darker Version of Alice in Wonderland

This sets out to offer a dark take on Alice in Wonderland but leaves you scratching you head. At most the Wonderland characters take a lot of drugs, along with a haphazard mix of scenes from the book cheaply shot

The Other Side of the Door (2016)

The Other Side of the Door (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Resurrected Ghost Child

From Johannes Roberts, the director of 47 Meters Down and other works, an undeniably spooky variant on Pet Sematary set in Mumbai as a mother unwittingly resurrects her late son’s spirit

Operation Avalanche (2016)

Operation Avalanche (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★½
The Faking of the Moon Landing/Found Footage

This takes the old conspiracy theory about the Moon Landing being faked by tv and rather hilariously is a Found Footage film being shot by two filmmakers who have been tasked with fabricating the Moon Landing

Officer Downe (2016)

Officer Downe (2016) poster
Rating:
Undead Cop/Graphic Novel Adaptation

Comic-book adaptation about a cop that is resurrected from the dead to take on the toughest assignments. Feels like a throwback to an 80s film like Maniac Cop or Dead Heat where the film is killed by the tiresomely cliched appropriation of the faux grindhouse aesthetic

The Offering (2016)

Rating:
Occult Happenings

Singaporean film that offers an assemblage of cliches elements from various horror films in a mishmash of hauntings, possession, occult happenings and ominous Biblical portents that make little sense in terms of explanatory rationale

The Northlander (2016)

The Northlander (2016) poster
Rating:
Post-Holocaust

Post-holocaust film made by and starring Canadian First Nations people. While the film uses the aftermath of a civilisation as a setting, it never seems that interested in exploring it. The film peters out in an uninteresting resoution and features some appallingly pretentious dialogue

Norm of the North (2016)

Norm of the North (2016) poster
Rating:
Animation/Talking Polar Bear

As animated films go, there are few that feel like a constructor set of pieces copied from every other film than this. Audiences found the adventures of a twerking polar bear lacking too and it made a record for the lowest weekend gross for an animated film ever

The Perfect Weapon (2016)

The Perfect Weapon (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Action Film/Dystopian Future

Steven Seagal makes an SF film. Even more bizarrely, Seagal plays the villain for one of the few times in his career, namely the dictator of a dystopian future. An overweight and aging Seagal has a handful of scenes philosophising, while the bulk of the film is a super-soldier plot carried by others

Pet (2016)

Pet (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Man Abducts the Girl He is Obsessed With

This seems to be shaping up to be a modern variant on The Collector in which Dominic Monaghan abducts the object of his desire and locks her in a cage beneath the dog shelter where he works. From there the film starts to twist expectations on their head

Nine Lives (2016)

Nine Lives (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Man Trapped in the Body of a Cat

Your mind struggles to process the premise of Nine Lives – where Kevin Spacey finds himself in the body of a cat. It seems a variation on the earlier Oh Heavenly Dog in which Chevy Chase was reincarnated as Benji. Some cute effects but what a lightweight effort for an actor of Spacey’s calibre

The Purge: Election Year (2016)

The Purge: Election Year (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Future That Permits One Night of Lawlessness

The Purge was a routine film that caught on with audiences but the premise lacks the legs to be a franchise – for one, it is based on a future scenario that has zero plausibility. This makes paper-thin stabs in terms of social issues but all interest evaporates when the guns start blazing

Recovery (2016)

Recovery (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Search for a Missing Cellphone Leads to a Sinister House

A film that starts with the premise of teenage girls looking for a party and then going in search of a missing cellphone doesn’t do much to enthuse me. On the other hand, things pick up when the search leads them to a strange house

Ratchet & Clank (2016)

Ratchet and Clank (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Animation/Videogame Adaptation

Animated film based on the popular computer game. On screen, this emerges as essentially an instantly forgettable variant on one of the Star Wars prequels retooled for the Under Tens with the emphasis all on frenetic slapstick and visual eye candy

Range 15 (2016)

Range 15 (2016) poster
Rating:
Zombie Comedy

This is a crowdourced film made by military veterans who set out with the idea of creating better military characterisations in films. Bizarrely enough, they turn to the zombie comedy to do so and the result is the crassest, most willfully offensive zombie film ever made

Raman Raghav 2.0 (2016)

Raman Raghav 2.0 (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★½
True-Life Mumbai Serial Killer

Everyone has a certain idea of what Bollywood cinema is – romantic interludes and elaborate song and dance numbers no matter the genre. This is one Bollywood film that defies convention – based on a true-life Mumbai serial killer, it comes with a harsh realism and features an electrifying central performance

Raaz Reboot (2016)

Raaz Reboot (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Bollywood Possession Fim

For some reason, The Exorcist is hugely popular in Bollywood horror – this is the fourth in a series of otherwise unrelated films about possession. The film conducts its borrowings not unentertainingly and is boosted by a script that turns what we think is happening on its head with quite a degree of dexterity

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Jane Austen Retold with Zombies

Based on the book that led a publishing phenomenon in which literary classics are mashed up with monsters, this has the difficult balancing act – that of making Jane Austen’s Regency romance sit alongside zombies – nevertheless manages to play both with an impeccably straight-face

Pete’s Dragon (2016)

Pete's Dragon (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Boy and Invisible Dragon/Disney Remake

Another Disney remake that hardly resemble its source – the original was light slapstick with a big cartoon dragon, this is a sober wild child story where the dragon is now an endangered species

Prevenge (2016)

Prevenge (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Psychopathic Pregnant Woman

Directed by and starring actress Alice Lowe, this comes in a blackly funny vein. Lowe plays a pregnant woman driven by the voice of her baby as she starts dispatching everything from sleazy men to those who annoy her

Poignant (2016)

Poignant (2016) poster
Rating:
Haunting

This is one of a plethora of hard-to-differentiate apart ghost stories that have littered the dvd shelves in recent years, frequently copying Insidious in appropriating a sinister-seeming adjective as title. There is not a single directorial or musical cue, sound effect or line of dialogue that doesn’t feel like a cliche

Planet of the Sharks (2016)

Planet of the Sharks (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Drowned Future/Killer Sharks

Another gonzo killer shark from from The Asylum who made the Sharknado films. Played somewhat more seriously than other entries, this has been conceived as Waterworld with killer sharks

Phantom of the Theatre (2016)

Phantom of the Theatre (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Chinese Version of The Phantom of the Opera

A fascinating Chinese version of The Phantom of the Opera, transplanted from a Parisian opera house of the 19th Century to a film being shot in an abandoned theatre in the 1930s. On the other hand, this version makes the most radical changes to the story of any of the Phantom films

Phantasm: Ravager (2016)

Phantasm: Ravager (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Dream Horrors/Other-Dimensional Grave Robbers

Phantasm was a cult hit with its eerie otherworldly dream horrors. It spawned four sequels of which this is probably the last given that Angus Scrimm died earlier this year. The series peaked a couple of films ago and here the regulars pander to a comfortable familiarity without adding anything new to the mix

1920 London (2016)

1920 London (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Bollywood Possession Film

The Bollywood horror film is a rare and strange beast – what other horror film would you see that comes with song and dance numbers? This is a Bollywood possession film where, despite the use of local colour and custom, it is surprisingly still drawn from the cliches created by The Exorcist

Night of Something Strange (2016)

Night of Something Strange (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Zombie-Creating Sexually Transmitted Disease

Film about a zombie-creating sexually transmitted disease that feels like it was made by a bunch of drunken adolescents trying to out-gross each other after an all-weekend beer party. A film that is readily ventures into bad taste and is prepared to offend

The Red Turtle (2016)

The Red Turtle (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Animation/Castaway Befriends Turtle Woman

Studio Ghibli’s first ever international co-production. A desert island castaway fantasy, this makes interesting comparison to the recent Robinson Crusoe/The Wild Life, even if both films are poles apart in style. This is dialogueless, spare and contained with a minimalism of plot and drama

Little Dead Rotting Hood (2016)

Little Dead Rotting Hood (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Little Red Riding Hood Resurrected as a Werewolf Hunter

This had me watched on the basis of the title alone. An Asylum production, this is less a twisted take on the fairytale than one that turns Little Red Riding Hood into a werewolf hunter

The Limehouse Golem (2016)

The Limehouse Golem (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Victorian Serial Killer

This comes with a captivating tagline “Before The Ripper, fear had another name” and misleadingly suggests it is based on another true-life Victorian serial killer. This refuses to be the police procedural you expect

Life After Life (2016)

Life After Life (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Chinese Possession Story

Chinese film in which a dead wife comes back to inhabit the body of her son to get her husband to move a tree before their village is redeveloped

Let Her Out (2016)

Let Her Out (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Girl at War With Her Split Personality

From Cody Calahan who made Antisocial, a reasonable modernisation of the Jekyll and Hyde story with a girl at war for ownership of her own body with an evil alter ego

Left Behind – Vanished: Next Generation (2016)

Left Behind – Vanished: Next Generation (2016) poster
Rating:
Young Adult/Christian Rapture Film

There have been the various adaptations of the Left Behind books about the Biblical Rapture; this is an attempt to spin the same off for Young Adult audiences and is not very good

League of Gods (2016)

League of Gods (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Epic Chinese Fantasy

A Chinese fantasy film that leaves anything Western fantastic cinema has made recently for dead, including epical battle scenes and a lavish sumptuousness of costuming that leaves your jaw on the floor

Late Night Double Feature (2016)

Late Night Double Feature (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Horror Anthology

In the same vein as Grindhouse, an anthology that consists of two longer stories set around the gimmick of a tv horror host playing a double-bill, along with several mocked-up parody trailers

The Last Heist (2016)

The Last Heist (2016) poster
Rating: ★½
Serial Killer During a Bank Heist

Mike Mendez film about a heist on a safety deposit company. Henry Rollins proves extremely entertaining as a serial killer come to retrieve his collection of eyeballs in the vault and caught in the midst

Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)

Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Animation/Talking Animal Martial Arts

The Kung Fu Panda series are films for couch potatoes – martial arts films with a hero who proclaims the virtues of laziness, overeating and goes into combat with an self-inflated sense of his own awesomeness

Lost in the Pacific (2016)

Lost in the Pacific (2016) poster
Rating:
Disaster Movie/Mutant Cats on a Plane

A Chinese-made attempt to make a disaster movie with a crosscut of characters aboard a luxury airliner. What causes the film to plummet down into the ridiculous is the addition of a horde of mutant cats

Nerve (2016)

Nerve (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Internet Site That Offers Deadly Challenges

This is like an online version of 13 Sins about an internet site that pushes people to take increasingly more outrageous and eventually deadly dares. One of the new thrillers centred around social media that seeks to adopt its visual look, this is slickly polished and aimed direct to the teenage demographic

The Monster (2016)

The Monster (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★½
Roadside Monster Movie

A monster movie that consists of a mother and daughter cowering in a crashed car on a remote stretch of road. The effectiveness of the film comes in the incredibly raw emotional groundwork laid in the first half

The Neon Demon (2016)

The Neon Demon (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★½
Horror Film in the L.A. Modelling World

Nicolas Winding Refn makes a horror film set in the L.A. modelling world. A film of hypnotic surfaces that glitter with a troubling undertow, the result is like Valley of the Dolls as remade by Dario Argento

Morgan (2016)

Morgan (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Artificially Intelligent Android

A.I. film directed by Ridley Scott’s son. The set-up seems awfully similar to Ex Machina – unfortunately, this sidesteps any of that fascinating questions about A.I. that film dealt in, while the latter half just becomes The Terminator before reaching a frankly unbelievable twist ending that sinks the film

Monster Trucks (2016)

Monster Trucks (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Creatures Inhabit Vehicles

You can almost see the process in the scriptwriters head “What if we had Monster Truck rallies where the trucks were actual monsters?”. Way more entertaining than you ever expect it to be

The Monkey King 2 (2016)

The Monkey King 2 (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Epic Chinese Legend

Sequel to the earlier The Monkey King, which was fun but this is altogether a better film. While the first film was more prelude to Journey to the West, this sets out on the journey and tells one of its stories. Directed with an immensely assured command of the live-action and CGi elements

Moana (2016)

Moana (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Disney Animation/Pacific Island Mythology

Despite being a huge box-office and critical success and being nominated for an Academy Award, I am in a minority in disliking this. Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that it appropriates the culture from my neck of the woods and only spins it out as a series of glib jokes and one-liners

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2016)

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Secret Home for "Gifted" Youths

Tim Burton used to be the great hope of fantastic cinema but his efforts since 2000 have been greeted with general disappointment. This Young Adult adaptation plays out like a fantasy version of the X-Men

A Midsummer Night’s Dream (2016)

A Midsummer Night's Dream (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Modernised Shakespeare Adaptation

Adaptation of the Shakespeare play about fairy enchantments by Doctor Who showrunner Russell T. Davies. Davies goes with a standard interpretation alongside radical reinvention – Athens as a fascist dictatorship

Midnight Special (2016)

Midnight Special (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Gifted Otherworldly Child

This feels like a reworking of late 70s/early 80s sf films like Starman and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Much of the film is based around a series of amazing happenings but its crucial failure as science-fiction is the lack of explanations for why these are happening

The Mermaid (2016)

The Mermaid (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Mermaid Comedy

Stephen Chow has proven himself a comic genius in his directorial works of the 90s/00s. Unfortunately, as he has gained mainstream acclaim, his films have started to disappear under their big-budgets. This is sort of a version of Splash! by way of the fad for madcap Hong Kong slapstick

Maximum Ride (2016)

Rating:
Young Adult/Genetically Engineered Children

In between the hugely successful Young Adult adaptations of the 00s/10s there has been another trail of YA adaptations that never made it beyond one film. Adapted from a YA series by crime writer James Patterson about a group of kids with wings, this is an exceedingly lacklustre production

Max Steel (2016)

Max Steel (2016) poster
Rating:
Film Based on Toy Franchise/Superhero Film

An ill-conceived attempt to compete amid the high stakes box-office superheroics enjoyed by Marvel and belatedly DC, this had one of the most disastrous box-office showings of 2016 … Based on a popular line of action toys, this gets nothing right – it’s hard to tell it is meant to be a superhero film for half the show

Massacre on Aisle 12 (2016)

Massacre on Aisle 12 (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Murderous Squabbling in a Hardware Store/Black Comedy

This calls itself a horror comedy and is set in a hardware store on Christmas Eve as the staff fall to murderous squabbling after the discovery of a dead body and large sum of money

Red Sonja, Queen of Plagues (2016)

Red Sonja, Queen of Plagues (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Warrior Woman/Sword and Sorcery

Surprisingly good animated revival of Robert E. Howard’s warrior woman with a script by comic-book writer Gail Simone that gets the character just right

The Remains (2016)

The Remains (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Haunted House

The haunted house genre is one that has become thoroughly exhausted by overuse in recent years. This puts the elements together with a professional assemblage but is essentially no different to the 347 other haunted house films that this site has seen in the last twelve months

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (2016)

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★½
Anime/Computer Game Adaptation

Anime film released to accompany the computer game. Dazzling, epic-sized animation, mocapped in photorealistic detail that wows the eye on a scale that Western animators never come near

31 (2016)

31 (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Human Hunting Survival Game

Rob Zombie featuring people abducted and forced to play in a deathsport game. This is largely a re-run of House of 1000 Corpses, while both films in turn draw heavily on The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. As always, Rob Zombie has a following but also switches large swathes of his audience off

The 12 Slays of Christmas (2016)

The 12 Slays of Christmas (2016) poster
Rating:
Christmas Horror Anthology

From Troma films, this is an anthology made up of twelve Christmas-themed short horror films for what supposed leading indie directors – so acclaimed I’ve only heard of two of them before

Trolls (2016)

Trolls (2016) poster
Rating:
Animation/Small Cute Creatures

A perfect example of all the things I hate about modern animation. Based around the popular Troll dolls, this is vapidly designed, content-free product based solely around simplistic storylines, manic slapstick sequences, song and dance numbers, and inane contemporary pop culture in-jokes

The Transfiguration (2016)

The Transfiguration (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★½
Ordinary Vampire

The vampire film is looking a little anemic in the post-Twilight era. Here is what is easily one of the best vampire films of the 2010s, a combination of Martin and the relationship in Let the Right One In (sort of), all transplanted into a harsh inner city environment

Train to Busan (2016)

Train to Busan (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★★
Zombies on a Train

The zombie film has become an overworked vein in the last few years. This South Korean film does nothing to reinvent it, just contains the drama aboard a train but manages to create a grippingly intense epic of the genre

Time Toys (2016)

Time Toys (2016) poster
Rating: ★½
Super-Powered Toys from the Future

Children’s film with the promising idea of kids finding a bunch of toys from the future that grant them amazing abilities unaware they have world-destroying potential.; The idea is alas watered down to the blandness of family formula and the limited conceptual horizons of a low budget

Time Renegades (2016)

Time Renegades (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Shared Vision Across Time/Hunt for a Killer

South Korean film that borrows the premise of the film Frequency in having two characters separated across twenty years have clairvoyant dreams of the other’s life and combining forces to stop a killer

Time Raiders (2016)

Time Raiders (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Tomb-Raiding Adventures

Not a time travel film as the title leads you to expect but a Chinese copy of Raiders of the Lost Ark where you expect they were trying to call it ‘tomb raiders’. The director is also the production designer leading to a gorgeously designed film but also one of constant action postures almost entirely lacking in substance

Under the Shadow (2016)

Under the Shadow (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★½
Iranian Woman Haunted By a Djinn

I was intrigued a few years ago about whether such a thing as the Islamic horror film existed and shortly after we had A Girl Walks Alone at Night. This could be considered an Iranian version of The Babadook and is a spooky and well made show about a woman slowly descending into fear and superstition

The Thinning (2016)

The Thinning (2016) poster
Rating:
Future Education System Eliminates Failed Students

Another variant on the Young Adult dystopia a la The Hunger Games and Divergent films, concerning a future where that who fail standardised school tests are executed to keep the population down. The blandness of approach utterly feels to grapple with the ideas at play

They’re Watching (2016)

They're Watching (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Found Footage/Superstitious East European Village

The Found Footage genre has become fairly much strip-mined of all possibilities and I felt little enthusiasm for yet another. That said, this film about a reality tv crew in a heavily superstitious East European village, proves surprisingly well made and entirely wins you over with a bravura climax

Terra Formars (2016)

Terra Formars (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Mutated Insects on Mars

Takashi Miike delivers a completely madcap film about evolved cockroaches on Mars being fought by astronauts who take doses of mutagenic serum to give them insect-based super-powers

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★
Trapped in a Survival Shelter/Mysterious Catastrophe

Sequel in name only to Cloverfield, this takes place in a survival shelter where an unspecified catastrophe has happened outside but we cannot be certain what or even if anything at all. Okay but films like Take Shelter and The Divide did this much better

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Comic-Book Superheroes

Nobody has good things to say about the 2014 reboot of the Turtles. This sequel is stuck with its legacy – giant over-sized Turtles that lacked the cuteness of the originals; bitchy non-acting Megan Fox – but comes out winningly by doing one thing – emulating the spirit of the original cartoon series

2 Lava 2 Lantula (2016)

2 Lava 2 Lantula (2016) poster
Rating:
Giant Fire-Breathing Spiders

Lavalantula with Steve Guttenberg facing giant fire-breathing spiders was a modestly enjoyable creature feature. This sequel feels like a Sharknado wannabe with shittier effects and an unfunny sense of humour