Tekken (2010)
Videogame Adaptation/Combat Tournament
Another videogame adapted film, this has almost entirely been conceived around a series of slick fight sequences and little else
Film Series and Sequels
Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)
Greek Myth in the Present Day
Chris Columbus seeks to emulate the success of the Harry Potter films with this adaptation of a Young Adult series about the children of Greek gods. The film falls apart due to Columbus’s typical banal cues and effects overkill
How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
Animation/Boy Befriends Dragon
Popular animated adaptation of a children’s book. This hits all the right story arcs and in sufficiently likeable measure to work amiably. Two sequels and a live-action remake followed.
Nanny McPhee & the Big Bang (2010)
Magical Nanny
I never much cared for Nanny McPhee. This is a sequel that replicates the original in fairly much the same amount mix of plot elements, slapstick sequences and nonsensical absurdism
Piranha (2010)
Killer Fish
Another in the fad for 70s/80s remakes where Alexandre Aja for once captures the spirit of Joe Dante’s 1978 original by planting tongue in cheek and wading in with mind-bogglingly gory enthusiasm
Tales of an Ancient Empire (2010)
Sword and Sorcery/Vampires
Albert Pyun makes a long promised sequel to his first film The Sword and the Sorcerer but delivers an impoverished mess that is all over the place plotwise
Iron Man 2 (2010)
Comic-Book Superhero
Iron Man was very enjoyable. True to typical superhero sequel form, this complicates the original by introducing so many new villains and characters that it becomes an overcrowded narrative juggling act
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010)
Young Wizard
The penultimate chapter in the Harry Potter series surprisingly strips out most of the effects and is much slower, more character driven, while moving the saga towards an epic conclusion
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Young Wizard
Sixth of the Harry Potter films, this feels like a step back from what its predecessor built up. The film suffers from trying to cram all of J.K. Rowling’s book into its running time and ends up being frustratingly mannered
The Three Investigators in the Secret of Terror Castle (2009)
Juvenile Detectives Investigate a Spooky Mansion
The Three Investigators books were an essential part of my youth. This does a fair job of remaining faithful to the stories, albeit with the addition of some grating modernisations, and creates reasonable atmosphere as they investigate a seemingly spooky mansion
Battlestar Galactica: The Plan (2009)
Space Opera
This was the second of the films spun off from the 2000s Battlestar Galactica revival series, and ingeniously retells the events of the series as seen through the eyes of the Cylons
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Live-Action Transformer Robots
The first of Michael Bay’s Transformers sequels has even better effects and more copious mass destruction to the point it washes over you without any effect
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)
Haunted House/"True Story"
Another supposed true-life ghost story, an early case by Ed and Lorraine Warren. The film exists as a progression of pop-up scares that through the need to keep producing effect produces no effect at all.
Transmorphers: Fall of Man (2009)
Asylum Mockbuster/Alien Robot Invasion
Transmorphers was The Asylum’s mockbuster copy of Michael Bay’s Transformers and one of their better films. When Bay released his sequel Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, The Asylum also made this prequel
[Rec] 2 (2009)
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Zombie Film/Found Footage
Lesser sequel to the Spanish Found Footage zombie film [Rec] that repeats the original to variable effect but needlessly breaks up the single camera point-of-view
Life During Wartime (2009)
Interwoven Dramas/Ghosts of Ex Boyfriends
Todd Solondz is one of the finest US indie directors. This sequel to his masterpiece Happiness lacks the original’s savage bite and is his weakest work to date
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009)
Giant Monsters
The Asylum’s first venture into the gonzo shark movie that would spin off a series of sequels and culminate in the Sharknado phenomenon. Despite one of the great attention grabbing titles of all time, this is an unmemorable affair
Banlieue 13: Ultimatum (2009)
French Future Action/Walled-Off Neighbourhood
Sequel to the French action hit. The plot shuffles the same basic elements around but it is the action we have come for, which is slow to start but soon kicks into exhilarating high gear
Angels & Demons (2009)
The Da Vinci Code Sequel
Ron Howard and Tom Hanks follow up their adaptation of The Da Vinci Code by turning to an earlier Dan Brown novel concerning conspiratorial goings-on in The Vatican but the show collapses amid absurdly contrived plotting
Zombieland (2009)
Zombie Comedy
Enjoyable zombie comedy that has been regarded as a classic by many and contains an appealing nonchalant sense of humour and some great performances, even if it owes much to Shaun of the Dead
Zombie Women of Satan (2009)
Freakshow Troupe vs Zombie Women
A WTF am I watching film where a performing freakshow troupe led by Pervo the Clown are pursued around a farm by topless zombie women
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
Comic-Book Superhero
After the disaster of X-Men: The Last Stand, the decision was made to give a whole film over to the series’s most popular character, Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, and to go with a prequel that told his origin story. Largely a film that exists as a series of superheroic action scenes
The Final Destination (2009)
Precognition/Doomed Accident Survivors
The fourth in the series of films about a series of deaths for survivors after premonition of disaster at a speedway. This is shot in 3D but the novelty death set-pieces have become preposterous
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)
Singing Chipmunks
The first of the sequels to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Marginally less grating than the first film but that’s being relative – all the things that one hated the first time are back
Amateur Porn Star Killer 3: The Final Chapter (2009)
Snuff Movie Mockumentary
The first two of these films did ingenious things but now the inspiration is showing through and these films are starting to seem more like a personal fantasy on the director’s part
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
Mad Surgeon Connects Human Bodies
An astonishingly perverse work where a mad surgeon abducts three people intending to connect their bodies as a single digestive tract. This is a work that pushes itself into truly warped territory
New Moon (2009)
Twilight Sequel/Vampire Romance
The second of the Twilight films where the moderately grounded original is blown up into the near laughable with the ridiculously over-the-top hyper-sexualised posturing of its male leads
Night at the Museum 2 (2009)
Museum Exhibits Come to Life
Sequel to the Ben Stiller hit offers more of the same with a bigger museum and more exhibits come to life but little else
Repo Chick (2009)
Repo Man Sequel
Alex Cox sequelizes his off-the-wall cult hit Repo Man but only turns it into an amateurish, meandering effort that is only trying to be wacky and cultish
Arthur and the Revenge of Maltazard (2009)
Miniature Magical World
This was the second of Luc Besson’s Minimoys films, partly animated children’s films set in a world of miniature creatures. Here the charms of the first film seem thinly stretched
Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)
Animation/Prehistoric Talking Animals
Another of Blue Sky Studios’ interminable animated sequels to its likeable original about prehistoric talking animals. This has little substance beyond a kinetic rush from one gag to the next
Vacancy 2: The First Cut (2009)
Remote Motel Torture and Sadism
Passable sequel (or rather prequel) to the remote motel snuff movie thriller Vacancy. Even though a throwaway effort, it manages to build an okay head of steam
G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra (2009)
Futuristic Military Action Team
Stephen Sommers make a film based on the popular action toy line. Barring one exhilarating sequence in the middle, this consists of lots of sound and CGI fury amounting to very little at all
Offspring (2009)
Feral Cannibal Family
A strong and at times quite brutal film about a town that is terrorised by attacks from a feral cannibal family. The controversial The Woman was a better-known sequel
Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009)
Undead Super-Soldiers/Action
The fifth of the Universal Soldier films reuniting both Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, while being given a tough, brutal action punch by director John Hyams
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)
Vampire-Werewolf War
Third of the Underworld films, a prequel to the previous entries. In truth, it is just the same as the others – lots of kinetic action moves and Gothic poses with little in the way of plot
Avatar (2009)
War Between Human Colonists and Aliens
James Cameron’s film was a smash phenomenon. Cameron has relocated the plot of Dances With Wolves on another planet and uses motion capture to create one of the most dazzlingly realised alien worlds on film
Evangelion 2.0: You Can (Not) Advance (2009)
Anime/Invasion by Vast Alien Machines
The second of the Neon Genesis Evangelion reboot films, this gets the essentials right and delivers some stunningly epic anime action scenes
Paranormal Entity (2009)
Haunting Found Footage Film
The Asylum’s answer to Paranormal Activity Oren Peli made his film for $15,000, which is about as cheap as it is possible to make a film; this manages to look even cheaper – simply someone wandering around with a camcorder that is at best aimed in the general direction of things happening
Hard Revenge, Milly: Bloody Battle (2009)
Gonzo Japanese Splatter Film/Near Future Revenge
Full-length follow-up to Hard Revenge, Milly and the same mix of ferocious action and over-the-top splatter. Despite a large budget, this is marginally the lesser in sheer entertainment
Star Trek (2009)
Intergalactic Adventures
J.J. Abrams revives the Star Trek franchise by recasting it with younger faces and rewriting continuity. But in the appeal to a hipper, sexier vibe, it feels a long way from Gene Roddenberry’s creation – nowhere in evidence is the original’s concern with galactic politics and social issues of the day
Survival of the Dead (2009)
Zombies
George Romero’s sixth and final zombie film where he writes characters and a script with much more of a richness of theme than he did in the last two entries
The Cell 2 (2009)
Psychic Link with a Serial Killer
Sequel to Tarsem Singh’s The Cell that feels made by people who haven’t even seen the original. The original’s fascinating journey into dream terrain is replaced by a dull psychic with a link to a serial killer plot
Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)
Deadly Infection
The first sequel to Eli Roth’s film, directed by a then unknown Ti West who subsequently tried to have his name removed. The gore effects look cheap and cheesy and the film misses the comedic angle of the original
The Descent: Part 2 (2009)
Cave Creatures
Neil Marshall’s The Descent was a ferociously effective horror film that proved a sleeper success. This is an unnecessary sequel that only offers up a limited variation on the same jumps
Ju-on: Old Lady in White (2009)
Japanese Ghost Story
The better of two spinoff films made for the tenth anniversary of the Ju-on/The Grudge series. The series is suffering over-familiarity, but this manage to create moments of uncanny spookiness
The Grudge 3 (2009)
Haunting
The Ju-on/The Grudge series has spawned thirteen films to date. This was the second sequel to the English-language remake but by this point everything disappears into formulaic scares
Storm Warriors (2009)
Flying Swordsmen Fantasy
The Pang Brothers are some of the most exciting genre directors in the world. Here they take on the Wu Xia film and make a sequel to The Storm Riders that feels fuelled by too many viewings of 300
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)
Animation/Inventor Creates Rains of Food
Phil Lord and Chris Miller, later directors of The Lego Movie, create an animated film that is a delight with its nonsensical visions of a town inundated by weather phenomena made of food
S. Darko (2009)
Donnie Darko Sequel
This is a wholly unnecessary sequel to Donnie Darko, featuring the same bafflingly inexplicable time-blurring things happening to his sister but without the same culty weirdness
Dead Snow (2009)
Nazi Zombies
A revival of the Nazi zombie film that comes from Norway! A hugely gore-drenched effort from Tommy Wirkola that soon plants tongue very much in cheek.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009)
Swedish Serial Killer Thriller
Strong and dramatically absorbing Swedish thriller featuring one of the most original and provocative heroines on screen in some time. A word of mouth hit that later underwent a lesser English-language remake
Halloween II (2009)
Slasher Film
Rob Zombie’s follow-up to his Halloween remake is a better film and closer to what the previous film should have been but his approach is still based on callous brutality than John Carpenter’s eerie suspense
Ju-on: Girl in Black (2009)
Japanese Ghost Story
One of a duo of spinoff films made to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the Ju-on/The Grudge series. Seven films in and the series is starting to resemble much of a muchness
Screamers: The Hunting (2009)
Evolved Androids/Planetary Survival
Disappointing sequel to the modest original that does little but revisit and re-run the first film’s scenario with little to add to it
Saw VI (2009)
Killer's Sadistic Games
Sixth time around and the backstory is starting to become so excessively complicated it is hard to follow what is going on. All the gruesome torturings now seem passe, although this does redeem itself somewhat in making a few black digs at the medical health industry
Tetsuo: The Bullet Man (2009)
Man-Machine Fusion
Shinya Tsukamoto’s third Tetsuo film is a disappointingly commercial concession that waters down all of the surrealism and wild sexual fetishism that made the first film so amazing
Terminator Salvation (2009)
War Against the Machines
The fourth Terminator film is slightly better than you would expect of something directed by the empty-headed McG. There are some undeniably spectacular action sequences, although the film still stands too much in the shadow of what has gone before
The Collector (2009)
Sadism and Torture
A directorial debut from one of the writers of the Saw sequels, a Torture Porn film that has a highly unusual set-up about a burglar stumbling into a family home that has been turned into a death trap by a serial killer
Maid-Droid (2008)
Human-Android Sexual Relations
Really odd, even at times touching, Japanese film about a man’s thwarted attempts to have sex with his android maid
L: Change the World (2008)
Death Note Spinoff
Spinoff from the Japanese Death Note films from Ring director Hideo Nakata featuring the weird detective L. L was a scene-stealer but this fails to come up with an interesting enough plot for him
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Comic-Book Adaptation/The Rampaging Monster Within
Sequel to the Ang Lee Hulk with Edward Norton inheriting the roles of Bruce Banner. Ang Lee gave the first film a visual brio but this often seems by the numbers
Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)
Talking Dogs
One of the most inane talking animals film ever – the tale of a spoiled Beverly Hills dogs who has to make her way home after being abandoned in Mexico. Filled with excruciating slapstick and animals spouting smartass one-liners
The Dark Knight (2008)
Comic-Book Superhero
Christopher Nolan brought the cinematic Batman franchise back to life with Batman Begins and here expands it into something amazing. The show is capped off by Heath Leder’s towering Academy Award winning performance as The Joker
Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)
Monster Movie
Feast was an enjoyable monster movie that came with tongue planted in sarcastic cheek. This was the first of two sequels but by now the snappy sarcasm of the original is feeling thinly drawn
Quarantine (2008)
Zombie Found Footage Film
English-language remake of the Spanish Found Footage film [Rec]. A lesser work but in the hands of John Erick Dowdle one of the few English-language horror remakes that stands up to the original
Pulse 2 (2008)
Soul-Sucking Creatures from the Internet
This was the first of two sequels to the Wes Craven scripted Pulse, the English language version of Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s intensely spooky film about ghosts from the internet
Ninjas vs Zombies (2008)
Action Team vs Zombies
Likeable film made by fans about a ninja team formed to deal with a zombie onslaught
Saw V (2008)
Killer's Sadistic Games
Fifth of the Saw films. By now the series has developed such a complicated backstory it is difficult following how it all pieces together
Resident Evil: Degeneration (2008)
Anime/Videogame Adaptation
The first in a series of anime films that were produced by Capcom, the creators of the Resident Evil videogames, and intended to run parallel to the live-action films. I was never a big fan of the live-action films. The question is – does Resident Evil work better in the anime format?
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)
Epic Fantasy Adventure/Magical Otherworld
The second of the Narnia films. Director Andrew Adamson seems so intent on copying Peter Jackson that the film becomes all epic fantasy flourishes and battle scenes to the exclusion of all else – even much of C.S. Lewis’s book
Amateur Porn Star Killer 2 (2008)
Snuff Movie Mockumentary
Sequel to Shane Ryan’s disturbing snuff Found Footage film. This works with the same effectiveness as the original, where the videography is transformed via a dreamily beautiful series of experiments with editing and colour
Kung Fu Panda (2008)
Animation/Talking Animal Martial Arts
Massively successful animated film for DreamWorks, a comic riff on the martial arts training film that proves amiable and crowd-pleasing without ever being riotously funny
Asterix at the Olympic Games (2008)
Comic-Book Character
The third of the live-action Asterix films starring Gerard Depardieu as Obelix. This faithfully replicates the look and visuals of the original comic-books as the two head off to the Olympics
Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)
Surfer Vampires
After 21 years, this was the first of two sequel to The Lost Boys, featuring return performances from Corey Feldman and Corey Haim and, yes, surfer vampires
Cloverfield (2008)
Found Footage Monster Movie
A J.J. Abrams produced film that was made under an absolute pall of secrecy. Released, it turns out to only be a fairly ordinary monster movie that is shot Found Footage style
Nightmare Detective 2 (2008)
Dream Detective
Nightmare Detective was Shinya Tsukamoto’s venture into the dreamscape theme of works like The Cell and the subsequent Inception. Many regard this sequel as a superior work.
War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave (2008)
Alien Invasion
Sequel to The Asylum mockbuster version. Sequelising H.G. Wells is a daunting prospect and not too surprisingly this throws much of Wells out and creates its own film, which is undercut by a typical Asylum low budget
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)
Animation/Talking Animals
A reasonable sequel to DreamWorks’ Madagascar that this time actually takes the characters to Africa where it determines to give each of them their own story
Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (2008)
Possessed Gingerbread Man
Sequel to Full Moon’s The Gingerdead Man, this one has been made as an hilariously meta-fictional self-parody, spoofing Full Moon Studios and their films
Space Chimps (2008)
Animation/Talking NASA Chimpanzees
An animated film about NASA experimental chimpanzees. Not quite up there with Pixar but an amiable and unpretentious and amiable outing
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
High Adventure/Alien Artefacts
The fourth of the Indiana Jones films, returning after a 19 year gap to general disappointment. Largely a film about Indy getting old, this tries but the action scenes pale against what the series was in its heyday
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008)
Bird Attacks/Cult Bad Movie
The new contender for the Worst Film Ever Made, this fully lives up to its reputation, full of astounding technical ineptitudes, bad acting and hilarious one-liners. A blatant ripoff of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds
The Horror Vault (2008)
Compilation of Horror Shorts
A compilation of short horror films from Denmark
Hard Revenge, Milly (2008)
Gonzo Japanese Splatter Film/Near Future Revenge
Ferociously entertaining Japanese film about a cyborg-enhanced heroine on a revenge trail. Mostly a series of ridiculously over-the-top action moves combined with copious degrees of blood
Phobia (2008)
Anthology of Thai Ghost Stories
Horror anthology featuring four ghost stories from Thai directors. While all the segments vary in approach and style, this is a spooky and above average effort with the real standout being the final segment with an air hostess aboard a plane with a dead body in the midst of a storm
Iron Man (2008)
Comic-Book Superhero
This where the MCU began after a spate of high-profile Marvel Comics adaptations in the early 2000s. Jon Favreau conducts a highly enjoyable adaptation of the comic-book with Robert Downey Jr shining as Tony Stark
Dr Dolittle: Tail to the Chief (2008)
Teenager That Can Speak to Animals
The second of the video-released Dr Dolittle films featuring his teenage daughter Kyla Pratt. This is marginally better and less excruciating in its humour than its predecessor Dr. Dolittle 3 was
Embodiment of Evil (2008)
Black Sorcerer
Cult Brazilian figure of Jose Mojica Marina returns to his signature role of the demoniac sorcerer Ze do Caixão/Coffin Joe after 40 years. Marins’ nihilist philosophising and catalogue of torture scenes proves madly entertaining
TinkerBell (2008)
Disney Animation/Fairy's Adventures
The first in a series of Disney video-released films based around the Peter Pan fairy who is now reconceived as a contemporary Can Do girl
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D (2008)
Underground Adventures/Jules Verne Adaptation
This family friendly adaptation of the classic Jules Verne novel was made to highlight the 3D process and throws most of the book out to essentially become Jules Verne the theme park ride
The Strangers (2008)
Home Invasion and Brutality
A harrowing home assault film that highlighted the debut of Bryan Bertino, a new director of considerable promise. The surprise about the film is just how much influence it has had on other works subsequently
The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning (2008)
Disney Animation
One among the series of cheap video-released sequels to their classic animated films made during the 1990s/2000s, this is a prequel that offers up a Little Mermaid origin story
Mirrors (2008)
Haunted Mirrors
Alexandre Aja film about haunted mirrors. Aja is more a director of physical horror and seems less attuned to the supernatural mood
Twilight (2008)
Vampire Romance
Before the teen idol phenomenon took over, the original in the massively popular Young Adult series works as an earnest romance where all involved are clearly making an effort to play with a conviction
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)
Space Opera/Animation
Theatrical spinoff from the Star Wars prequels, released to introduce the popular animated series. This shows it is time for George Lucas to move beyond recycling something that was successful three decades ago
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
Revived Mummy/Chinese Adventure
The third of the Brendan Fraser Mummy films that feels like it has no point other than to steal $10 from your hand and give you a bucket of content free mental popcorn in return
Death Race (2008)
Future Prison/Gladiatorial Road Races
Paul W.S. Anderson’s remake of Death Race 2000 strips the satire from the original and turns it into a modern action movie – a to-the-death car chase film set in a near-future prison
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)
Demon Superhero/Comic-Book Adaptation
In the second and the best of his two Hellboy films, Guillermo Del Toro expands the first out with an amazing menagerie of eccentric and offbeat creatures, while Ron Perlman is again on winning form in the title role
The Scorpion King: Rise of a Warrior (2008)
Sword and Sorcery
Prequel to The Scorpion King. Unfortunately director Russell Mulcahy allows his broad hand with comedy free reign and the plot is overrun by glib character banter and constant flip modern one-liners