Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)

Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006) poster
Rating: ★★
Zombies

Remake of George Romero’s seminal zombie classic. The 3D is no more than a gimmick, while elsewhere they are some radical changes – a white Ben, a lame explanation for the zombies, some far-too-cute in-jokes – that fails to match the effectiveness of the original

The Toxic Avenger (2023)

The Toxic Avenger (2023) poster
Rating: ★★
Mutant Superhero/Troma Remake

A remake of the work that launched Troma films. The original The Toxic Avenger was a gungily nasty film that readily trod way over all lines of good taste. In being cast with name stars, this has been cleaned up considerably

Carrie (2002)

Carrie (2002) poste
Rating: ★★
Telekinetic Teen's Revenge/Stephen King Adaptation

TV mini-series remake of the Stephen King novel, which restores many aspects of the book not in the 1976 film. Unfortunately, Brian De Palma has been replaced by a tv director who regards it as just another assignment

A Bucket of Blood (1995)

A Bucket of Blood (1995) poster
Rating: ★★
Murderous Artist

Roger Corman’s original A Bucket of Blood is a cult black comedy starring Dick Miller a nerdy wannabe who is acclaimed after passing dead bodies off as works of art. Here it was remade with Anthony Michael Hall inheriting the role of Walter Paisley

All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

All Cheerleaders Die (2013) poster
Rating: ★★
Resurrected Cheerleaders

Directors Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson conduct a remake of their earlier film about resurrected cheerleaders. The question might be why – both have demonstrated they can do far better than this

The Amityville Horror (2005)

The Amityville Horror (2005) poster
Rating: ★★
Haunted House/"True Story"

Remake of the 1979 film that still persists with the claim that the Amityville hoax was true. This embellishes the rather dull original with the baggage of trick effects of the modern horror film

Anaconda (2025)

Anaconda (2025) poster
Rating: ★★
Comedy Remake of Anaconda

Anaconda was a CGI monster movie that has subsequently gained a bad movie reputation. The idea of a comedy remake about conducting a remake of the film just seems a little too cutely meta

And Soon the Darkness (2010)

And Soon the Darkness (2010) poster
Rating: ★★
Stalked Tourists Psycho-Thriller

Another pointless 1970s remake, in this case of the little-known British psycho-thriller about two tourists stalked in the French countryside (now transplanted to Argentina) with ho-hum results

The Andromeda Strain (2008)

The Andromeda Strain (2008) poster
Rating: ★★
Virus from Space/Michael Crichton Adaptation

TV series remake of Michael Crichton’s novel about the attempts to contain a viral outbreak from space. Crichton’s story was a straightforward work, whereas the mini-series has been absurdly overburdened with other plots

Angels in the Outfield (1994)

Angels in the Outfield (1994) poster
Rating: ★★
Angels Aid Baseball Team

Disney remake of the old light fantasy film in which angels step in to aid a losing baseball team. This is pitched to family audiences and holds a surprisingly ardent evangelical message

Apartment 1303 (2007)

Apartment 1303 (2007) poster
Rating: ★★
Japanese Ghost Story

Another J-horror on the bandwagon created by the Ring and Ju-on/The Grudge films. Some promisingly initial scares traipse off into a dull mystery about investigating the past

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979)

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979) poster
Rating: ★★
Space Opera/Man Unfrozen in the Future

In the aftermath of Star Wars, the comic-book/serial hero was revived in this heavily Star Wars influenced remake that was released theatrically and then served as the pilot of a tv series

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) poster
Rating: ★★
Giant Killer Leeches Amok

A typical 1950s B monster movie. The first half creates an entertainingly torrid drama in the bayous, although when they eventually turn up the giant leeches never get to do much

The Bad Seed (2018)

The Bad Seed (2018) poster
Rating: ★★
Psychopathic Young Girl

The 1956 The Bad Seed is the original evil child film. All other psycho children films draw themselves from here. This is a remake directed by actor Rob Lowe who also plays the father. McKenna Grace gives a superbly chill performance as the child

Flatliners (1990)

Flatliners (1990) poster
Rating: ★★
Exploring the Afterlife/Haunting

A film about med students stopping their hearts so as to explore the afterlife. This aims for big ideas but befalls director Joel Schumacher who delivers pretty visuals but finds nothing any more profound than a figurative group hug

Final Cut (2022)

Final Cut (2022) poster
Rating: ★★
Zombies on a Zombie Film Set Comedy

One Cut of the Dead was one of the freshest takes on the overworked zombie film in recent years. Here Academy Award-winning director Michel Hazanavicius conducts a French remake but misses the mark

Total Recall (1990)

Total Recall (1990) poster
Rating: ★★
Virtual Memories/Reality Bender/Action

Adaptation of a Philip K. Dick story is killed by being turned into an Arnold Schwarzenegger action vehicle and by director Paul Verhoeven’s burying the reality bending subtleties of the story under bludgeoning ultra-violence

It (2017)

It (2017) poster
Rating: ★★
Stephen King Adaptation/Killer Clown Monster

I far preferred the 1990 mini-series to the cinematic remake of the Stephen King book. This emerges as a lesser copy of tv’s Stranger Things, which did the whole 80s nostalgia/horror story far better

The Thing (2011)

The Thing (2011) poster
Rating: ★★
Shapechanging Alien Nasty

Though pitched as a prequel, this is essentially a remake of John Carpenter’s classic. Alas, this only finds the same phantasmagoric outlandishness as Carpenter did in a couple of scenes that may be moderately impressive for those who have never seen the original

Jumanji (1995)

Jumanji (1995) poster
Rating: ★★
Chaos-Unleashing Boardgame

A popular Robin Williams starring hit about a boardgame that unleashes jungle-themed chaos in a small town. A cute effects-driven idea that ultimately becomes an incredibly safe fantasy

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)

Rating: ★★
Trapped Inside a Jungle-Themed Videogame

A revival of Jumanji. The original’s boardgame is now a videogame that sucks the players inside. The adventure elements are routine but the film’s has comedic fun with its bodyswapped characters

Knock Knock (2015)

Rating: ★★
Home Invasion by Two Malicious Girls

Eli Roth home invasion thriller where two malicious girls turn family man Keanu Reeves’ life upside down. Roth creates a strong opening but hits the peak of the film not too far in and thereafter loses direction

The Lodger (2009)

The Lodger (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
Modern-Day Jack the Ripper Killings

Fourth version of the tale about a family who believe their boarder might be Jack the Ripper. This is updated to the present and abandons most of the story for a mind-bending pretzel of identity speculations

Long Weekend (2008)

Long Weekend (2008) poster
Rating: ★★
Nature's Revenge

Pointless remake of the cult Australian Nature’s Revenge film. This takes place amid some gorgeously shot natural scenery, is very faithful to the first film but seems to entirely miss the paranoid tone

Man in the Attic (1953)

Man in the Attic (1953) poster
Rating: ★★
Jack the Ripper Thriller

The fourth film version of The Lodger with Jack Palance as a new tenant that a family believe might be Jack the Ripper This has neither the style or the melodrama that the previous versions did

Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957)

Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957) poster
Rating: ★★
Teens vs Alien Invaders

One of the spate of teen monster movies of the 1950s, this is a B movie that at least has the benefit of not taking itself too seriously and the creation of some memorable alien creatures

Missile to the Moon (1958)

Missile to the Moon (1958) poster
Rating: ★★
Expedition to the Moon/All-Female Lunar Society

A remake of the classic bad movie Cat-Women of the Moon in which explorers to the Moon encounter an all-women society. Things do not improve in the bad movie stakes here

Mortal Kombat (2021)

Mortal Kombat (2021) poster
Rating: ★★
Interdimensional Combat/Videogame Adaptation

A reboot of the film series adapted from the popular videogame. Produced by James Wan, this emerges as a kinetic and enjoyable effort that has clearly designed to introduce an ongoing franchise

Mother’s Day (1980)

Mother's Day (1980) poster
Rating: ★★
Backwoods Brutality

A parody of the Backwoods Brutality film. One of the very first films produced by Lloyd Kaufman of Troma fame

Mulan (2020)

Mulan (2020) poster
Rating: ★★
Disney Live-Action Remake

The Disney live-action remake of Mulan finally arrives mired in controversy but the film itself proves a solid production for the most part, although never quite soars as a work of fantasy

The Mummy (1999)

The Mummy (1999) poster
Rating: ★★
Revived Mummy/Adventure

Nominal remake of the Boris Karloff The Mummy, which has now been inflated into a big budget Indiana Jones adventure. Stephen Sommers lets the film overspill with CGI spectacle but the exercise is deflated by a jokey, unserious attitude

Night of the Demons (2009)

Night of the Demons (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
House of the Possessed Dead

Another pointless remake of an 80s horror film. The original was a cheap Evil Dead ripoff driven by cheesy effects; this provides more professional effects but only becomes a slickly produced assemblage of cliches we have seen dozens of times before

The Island of Dr Moreau (1977)

The Island of Dr Moreau (1977) poster
Rating: ★★
Mad Scientist Creates Beast Men

The second film adaptation of the H.G. Wells novel following The Island of Lost Souls. This has remade with a decent budget but the story’s primal charge has been cleaned up

I Saw What You Did (1988)

I Saw What You Did (1988) poster
Rating: ★★
Prank Phonecall Psycho-Thriller

TV movie remake of a 1960s psycho-thriller about two girls making prank calls and uttering the title phrase – only to inadvertently call a killer. The premise makes a lot more sense updated to the 80s

How to Train Your Dragon (2025)

How to Train Your Dragon (2025) poster
Rating: ★★
Animation in Live-Action/World of Dragons

With Disney having remade most of their animated catalogue in live-action, other studios are now getting in on the act with this live-action remake of How to Train Your Dragon

Fright Night (2011)

Fright Night (2011) poster
Rating: ★★
Vampire Next Door Neighbour

Another 1980s horror remake that resurrects and changes the original to little purpose. This fails to understand that what was original in 1985 lacks much when placed alongside contemporary vampire films

The Gorilla (1939)

The Gorilla (1939) poster
Rating: ★★
Old Dark House Comedy-Thriller

The Old Dark House film hit a peak in the late 1930s. This was a comedy variant featuring the entirely forgotten comedy act The Ritz Brothers stumbling around an old mansion

Hands of a Stranger (1962)

Hands of a Stranger (1962) poster
Rating: ★★
Possessed Hands/The Hands of Orlac Adaptation

Fourth film version of The Hands of Orlac about a pianist who receives hand transplants from a murderer and believes they are possessing him. Compared to the first two versions, this is dull and prosaic

The Time Machine (2002)

The Time Machine (2002) poster
Rating: ★★
Time Travel/H.G. Wells Adaptation

Remake of the classic H.G. Wells novel that comes with the novelty of being directed by Wells’s great-grandson. More disappointingly it prefers to merely remake the 1960 film rather than return to the book

Hidden in the Woods (2012)

Hidden in the Woods (2012) poster
Rating: ★★
Chilean Backwoods Brutality

Backwoods Brutality Chilean style. This has the look and feel of a lost 1970s film that some people insist on calling grindhouse. Not the most polished work but this does deliver assorted brutality, gore and cannibalism

Hellraiser (2022)

Hellraiser (2022) poster
Rating: ★★
Sadomasochistic Demons

A valiant attempt to remake Clive Barker’s glistening and brilliant original that only emerges as a better made version of one of the sequels. This has a disappointing tameness that would never have inspired a series of sequels

The Stepford Wives (1975)

The Stepford Wives (1975) poster
Rating: ★★
Android Housewife Replacements

Ira Levin’s original novel wherein the men of a town replace their wives with subservient android duplicates seems to have its satiric point blunted when it comes to the film adaptation

Into the Mirror (2003)

Into the Mirror (2003) poster
Rating: ★★
Korean Ghost Story/Haunted Mirrors

A South Korean entry in the fad for Asian ghost stories that were popular in the 2000s following the successes of Ring and Ju-on/The Grudge. This later underwent remake as Alexandre Aja’s Mirrors

The Thousand Faces of Dunjia (2017)

The Thousand Faces of Dunjia (2017) poster
Rating: ★★
Wu Xia/Flying Swordsman Fantasy

One welcomes a collaboration between Tsui Hark, the godfather of Hong Kong fantasy cinema, and Yuen Wo Ping, fight choreographer for The Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon but the the results are oddly disappointing, with Yuen’s talents seeming buried under the CGI

The Blob (1958)

The Blob (1958) poster
Rating: ★½
Alien Monster

Film about a monstrous blob that devours everything in its path. This has become a 1950s B movie classic more through its chessiness value, not to mention theme of teenage rebellion, than necessarily being a great film

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (2025)

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (2025) poster
Rating: ★½
Psycho Babysitter

A remake of the 1992 film that starred Rebecca De Mornay as a psychopathic babysitter who enters a household seeking revenge. This updates the story for the 2020s, although is no less a conservative version than the original

Turkey Shoot (2014)

Turkey Shoot (2014) poster
Rating:
Human Hunting/Near Future Reality TV Show

Remake of the Ozploitation film where the original’s Most Dangerous Game scenario set in a dystopian future is lamely rewritten as a reality tv show and another Hunger Games ripoff. The original was fairly terrible; this has a lack of conviction in most regards that makes it even worse

Tarzan the Ape Man (1981)

Tarzan the Ape Man (1981) poster
Rating:
Softcore Tarzan Adaptation

Tarzan turned into a tedious softcore work designed to highlight the talent-free Bo Derek in a state of undress. This directly remakes the 1932 Johnny Weissmuller film – the original was an adventure classic, this is just an expensive nudie film

Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (2017)

Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (2017) poster
Rating:
Animation/Cartoon Animals Redo Willy Wonka

The Tom and Jerry cartoons have the distinction of being considered the most violent ever. The question is why anybody considered why we needed an animated remake of Willy Wonka but with the addition of Tom and Jerry

What Men Want (2019)

What Men Want (2019) poster
Rating:
Woman Can Read Women's Minds Comedy

A gender-swapped remake of What Women Want in which Taraji P. Henson gets the ability to read men’s thoughts. Henson displays no talent for comedy and this is a spectacularly unfunny film

A Chinese Ghost Story (2011)

A Chinese Ghost Story (2011) poster
Rating:
Chinese Supernatural Fantasy/Ghost Romance

A Chinese Ghost Story was one of the greatest Hong Kong fantasy films; this remake gets everything wrong. The aerial combat scenes are replaced by CGI, the characters rewritten and the Buddhist elements eliminated

Flatliners (2017)

Flatliners (2017) poster
Rating:
Exploring the Afterlife/Haunting

Another remake we never asked for. Considering that this had the entire CGI revolution to conceive of the afterlife journey and merely has to top Joel Schumacher, it is amazing how dull and uninteresting this emerges as

Edge of Darkness (2010)

Edge of Darkness (2010) poster
Rating:
Nuclear Conspiracy Thriller/TV Series Remake

A film remake of one of the great tv series of the 1980s. A complete betrayal by the original’s director Martin Campbell that strips all the politics and simply makes it into a Mel Gibson revenge film

Dr M (1990)

Dr M (1990) poster
Rating:
Mind-Controlling Criminal Mastermind

Claude Chabrol updates Fritz Lang super-villain Dr Mabuse to a millennial West Berlin where Alan Bates is a tv mogul who masterminds a mass suicide cult via messages hidden inside advertising

Dr Dolittle (1998)

Dr Dolittle (1998) poster
Rating:
Doctor That Can Speak to Animals

Complete and utter bastardisation of Hugh Lofting’s charming Doctor Dolittle stories, which are turned into a modern comedy with Eddie Murphy and talking animals doing lots of pee and poop jokes

Death Wish (2018)

Rating:
Vigilante Film

Eli Roth’s remake of the classic Charles Bronson vigilante film is an ugly affair. In an era where school shooting are a weekly scourge in the US, do we really need another fantasy about one man becoming empowered and sorting things out with a gun?

Day of the Dead: Bloodline (2018)

Day of the Dead Bloodline (2018) poster
Rating:
Zombies

One of a growing industry of zombie films that leech off the George Romero name. This remakes Romero’s Day of the Dead, which means it cherry picks key elements and rearranges them in a different way but lacks everything else that Romero offered

Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966)

Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966) dvd cover
Rating:
Mad Scientist in the Bayous

Larry Buchanan was a director whose output rivalled Edward D. Wood Jr in quality. This film about an expedition into the bayous encountering a mad scientist creating human-crocodile hybrids registers fairly poorly on most counts

Coma (2012)

Coma (2012) poster
Rating:
Medical Conspiracy Thriller

TV mini-series remake of the Michael Crichton medical thriller that pointlessly changes and over-extrudes a tight and effective original, while director Mikael Salomon adds absurd red herrings and keys away major surprises well in advance

Child’s Play (2019)

Child's Play (2019) poster
Rating:
Evil Artificially Intelligent Doll

The controversial remake of Child’s Play where Chucky is no longer possessed but become an artificially intelligent smart toy. This seems to misconstrues everything that the fanbase of the series celebrates by a mile