An American in Austen (2024)

An American in Austen (2024) poster
Rating: ★★
Modern Girl Transported Back Into Pride and Prejudice

A modern girl pining for the perfect man is transported back into the world of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice where she ends up disrupting the story

Nocturne (2020)

Nocturne (2020) poster
Rating: ★★★
Rivalry Between Sisters at a Music School/Occult Spell

The best of the Welcome to Blumhouse films set among the rivalry of two sisters at a highly competitive music school where one gets an occult text allowing her an advantage

The Bad Seed (2018)

The Bad Seed (2018) poster
Rating: ★★
Psychopathic Young Girl

The 1956 The Bad Seed is the original evil child film. All other psycho children films draw themselves from here. This is a remake directed by actor Rob Lowe who also plays the father. McKenna Grace gives a superbly chill performance as the child

Descendants 2 (2017)

Descendants 2 (2017) poster
Rating:
The Children of Disney Villains

Sequel to the painfully bad Disney Channel film that copied the success of High School Musical and featured the teenage children of classic Disney animated villains. This is just as empty-headed and unwatchable

King Charles III (2017)

King Charles III (2017) poster
Rating: ★★★½
Near-Future British Royal What If Story

A near future film that with eviscerates the royals with biting savagery as it depicts Prince Charles becoming the King of England and clashing with the government of the day

The Follower (2016)

The Follower (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Singer Imprisoned by a Psycho Fan

A blatant copy of Misery where Erika Christensen is a popular singer who is abducted and made a prisoner by deranged fan Bethany Lauren James who wants her to write more songs in the style she used to

Jack the Ripper (2016)

Jack the Ripper (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Jack the Ripper Killings

A girl sets out to solve the Jack the Ripper killings to free her innocently convicted brother. This is no more, no less factual than any other version but conducts a fine period recreation of Victorian England

A Midsummer Night’s Dream (2016)

A Midsummer Night's Dream (2016) poster
Rating: ★★½
Modernised Shakespeare Adaptation

Adaptation of the Shakespeare play about fairy enchantments by Doctor Who showrunner Russell T. Davies. Davies goes with a standard interpretation alongside radical reinvention – Athens as a fascist dictatorship

The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let’s Do the Time Warp Again (2016)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show Let's Do the Timewarp Again (2016) poster
Rating:
Gender-Bender Rock Musical/Frankenstein Spoof

Nothing indicates how miscalculated this remake is than the fact it has been placed in the hands of the director of the High School Musicals and sundry Disney Channel fodder

Dolores (2016)

Dolores (2016) poster
Rating: ★★★½
Model Maker's Miniature House Affects Reality

A model maker is hired to build a miniature of a famous actress’s house but then finds the model is capable of influencing reality. An ingenious premise that plays out with near-perfection

Parallels (2015)

Parallels (2015) poster
Rating: ★★★
Alternative Universe Hopping

Smart and fascinating venture into the alternate universe hopping theme that suggests something of what the underwhelming Sliders should have been. Originally made as the pilot for a tv series, this comes with much intriguing backstory set-up for a potential series

Descendants (2015)

Descendants (2015) poster
Rating:
The Children of Disney Villains

This has an appealing premise – the children of all the Disney villains have grown up and go to school together. This is promptly killed by the awfulness of the film itself, which is essentially High School Musical set in the Disney universe

If There Be Thorns (2015)

If There Be Thorns (2015) poster
Rating:
Flowers in the Attic Sequel

The third of the Lifetime Channel’s films based on the Gothic incest melodramas of Virginia C. Andrews that began with Flowers in the Attic. The plotting is absurd and the film feels uninhabited by human beings

Big Driver (2014)

Big Driver (2014) poster
Rating: ★★
Stephen King Adaptation/Rape and Revenge

Stephen King’s version of I Spit on Your Grave. What kills the film is the plot device that involves the heroine having imaginary conversations with dead bodies and her GPS

Petals on the Wind (2014)

Petals on the Wind (2014) poster
Rating:
Flowers in the Attic Sequel

Sequel to the Lifetime channel adaptation of Virginia C. Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic. Andrews’ prolific output of Gothic melodramas are really the horror equivalent of daytime soap operas. Though marginally better, this drowns in the same stultifying blandness as its predecessor

Borealis (2013)

Borealis (2013) poster
Rating: ★★
Outpost in a Future Thawed-Out Arctic

A pilot for a tv series that never went ahead set in a future where Global Warming has turned the Arctic into a thawed-out tundra where various countries seek to claim the new territory

The Hunters (2013)

The Hunters (2013) poster
Rating: ½
Quest for Fairytale Artefacts

The premise of a group of adventurers seeking artifacts from fairytales has mild possibilities but is given zero conviction by anybody involved. A sub-Indiana Jones adventure that was made as a tv pilot

An Adventure in Space and Time (2013)

An Adventure in Space and Time (2013) poster
Rating: ★★★★
The Origins of Doctor Who

A film about the origins of Doctor Who made for the series’ 50th anniversary. This comes packed with pieces of fanservice and origins of various iconic aspects. David Bradley gives a wonderfully nuanced and moving performance as William Hartnell

Red: Werewolf Hunter (2010)

Red Werewolf Hunter (2010) poster
Rating:
Werewolf Film

Syfy Channel film that seems to offer the intriguing premise of a Modernised Little Red Riding Hood but only deals with this in the vaguest ways. Otherwise this is a standard werewolf film and contains maybe the crappiest CGI wolf transformation scenes ever

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (2010)

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (2010) poster
Rating: ★★
Teenage Werewolf/Children's Film

Entirely unrelated to the forgettable 1973 film, this is a children’s film for the Nickelodeon Channel. Merely adequate but no more. Brooke Shields seems to be having the time of her life vamping it up with Bela Lugosi accent

The First Men in the Moon (2010)

The First Men in the Moon (2010) poster
Rating: ★★★½
Victorian Lunar Expedition/H.G. Wells Adaptation

Very nicely produced BBC retelling of the H.G. Wells novel that conducts an extremely faithful adaptation of the story and captures a perfect period sense of wonder

The Turn of the Screw (2009)

The Turn of the Screw (2009) poster
Rating: ★★★
Psychological Ghost Story

A BBC adaptation of the classic oft-filmed Henry James ghost story in which we cannot be sure whether the ghosts are real or exist inside the heroine’s imagination. This treats some aspects of the story liberally but gets the essence of the story right

The Unquiet (2008)

The Unquiet (2008) poster
Rating:
Haunted Building/Rival Paranormal Investigators

There is a certain potential to the concept of two rival teams, parapsychological debunkers and a tabloid tv crew, researching a reputedly haunted prison. Only a couple of years later, this would have been mandatorily made as a Found Footage film but suffers from a director with no aptitude for atmosphere

Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde (2008)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde (2008) poster
Rating: ★★
Evil Personality Within Unleashed

Modernised version of the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde story starring Dougary Scott. The principal novelty here is that the bulk of the story takes place in a courtroom as Hyde is placed on trial for murder

Lost City Raiders (2008)

Lost City Raiders (2008) poster
Rating: ★★
Tomb Raiding Adventures in a Drowned Future

A conceptually peculiar mix of Indiana Jones and Waterworld about tomb raiding adventures in a drowned future and the quest for Moses’s staff to turn back the rising waters

Random Quest (2006)

Random Quest (2006) poster
Rating: ★★
Alternate Timeline/John Wyndham Adaptation

BBC tv play adaptation of a short story by John Wyndham that also furnished the earlier film Quest for Love about a man finding himself in an alternate world. Despite this version being more faithful to Wyndham, the earlier film makes the central relationship work better

The Haunted Airman (2006)

The Haunted Airman (2006) poster
Rating: ★★
Dennis Wheatley Adaptation/Paranoia and Possible Hauntings

Robert Pattinson (before he was a recognised name) as a convalescing pilot during WWII who is haunted by demonic spiders in an adaptation of a book by occult writer Dennis Wheatley.

Sweeney Todd (2006)

Sweeney Todd (2006) poster
Rating: ★★★
Murderous Barber

Released before the Tim Burton version, this is a British tv production that offers a grimly realistic, non-musical historical portrait of Sweeney Todd with Ray Winstone in the title role

The Initiation of Sarah (2006)

The Initiation of Sarah (2006) poster
Rating: ★★
Occult War Between Rival Sororities

A remake of the 1978 tv movie about occult rituals in a girl’s sorority house. This is a film that feels directed and written without any real involvement by those responsible.

Cold Blood (2005-2006)

Cold Blood (2005-6) poster
Rating: ★★★★
Serial Killer Thriller

One of the best copies of The Silence of the Lambs, a British tv mini-series in which police must seek the help of imprisoned serial killer Matthew Kelly, who delivers a great performance in the role

The Quatermass Experiment (2005)

The Quatermass Experiment (2005) poster
Rating: ★★★
Mutating Astronaut

A remake of the first Quatermass story conducted as a live broadcast tv movie. Quite a considerable technical achievement considering the limitations and one that works with quite reasonable results

Meet the Santas (2005)

Meet the Santas (2005) poster
Rating:
Santa's Son Gets Married

Sequel to Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus where here Santa’s son (Steve Guttenberg) ties the knot – amazingly traditional and conservative in its sentiments and with everything so predictable that there is no real drama

The Strange Case of Sherlock Holmes and Arthur Conan Doyle (2005)

The Strange Case of Sherlock Holmes and Arthur Conan Doyle (2005) poster
Rating: ★★★
Arthur Conan Doyle Biopic-Mystery/Meta-Fiction

BBC production that seems to be a straightforward biopic of Sherlock Holmes creator Arthur Conan Doyle only for it to take a very strange dogleg into meta-fiction

Now You See It (2005)

Now You See It (2005) poster
Rating: ★★★
Teen Magician's Powers Might Be Real

Not to be confused with Now You See Me, the one about the bank-robbing magicians, this is a surprisingly good film for the usual creative wasteland that is the Disney Channel about a reality show for illusionists who discovers a teen whose powers would appear to be real

Twitches (2005)

Twitches (2005) poster
Rating:
Twin Sister Witches

Inane Disney Channel film with twin sisters Tia and Tamera Mowry as sisters who didn’t know it who discover they are witches. A film that has zero interest in its fantasy elements and is entirely taken up by airhead teenage airhead natter

A Midsummer Night’s Dream (2005)

A Midsummer Night's Dream (2005) poster
Rating: ★★½
Modernised Shakespeare Adaptation

Under the umbrella title ShakespeareRetold, Shakespeare’s tale of fairy enchantments and romantic mix-ups is reimagined in a modern day British holiday camp

Beauty (2004)

Beauty (2004) poster
Rating: ★★★
Modernised Beauty and the Beast

A quite enjoyable attempt to modernise the story of Beauty and the Beast with Martin Clunes as a disfigured reclusive aristocrat and Sienna Guillory as a plumber who connects with him

A Christmas Carol (2004)

A Christmas Carol (2004) poster
Rating: ★★★
Miser's Redemption Musical

TV movie version of the oft-filmed Charles Dickens tale featuring Kelsey Grammer as a very theatrical Scrooge. This tells the story as a musical but also manages to be surprisingly faithful to the original

Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus (2004)

Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus (2004) poster
Rating:
Santa's Son Seeks a Wife

Mawkishly sentimental Christmas tv movie with Steve Guttenberg as Santa’s son who needs to find a wife before he can take over the role. So cliched and written to expectation that it lacks any conflict

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (2004)

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (2004) poster
Rating: ★★½
Adventure Film/Quest for Mythic Artifacts

The first of several tv movies and later tv series about a team that collect mythic artifacts. An unapologetic copy of the Indiana Jones films and surprisingly more fun than you expect

The Brides in the Bath (2003)

The Brides in the Bath (2003) poster
Rating: ★★★
True Life Multiple Wife Murderer

British true crime tv drama based on the George Joseph Smith who in the early years of the 20th Century would marry women, get them to sign life insurance policies and then drown them in the bath

Riverworld (2003)

Riverworld (2003) poster
Rating:
All of Humanity Resurrected on an Alien Planet

The first adaptation of Philip Jose Farmer’s series of novels where every person who ever lived is resurrected on an alien planet is given an abysmal treatment as a tv movie that ditches and rewrites major aspects of the books

Lathe of Heaven (2002)

Lathe of Heaven (2002) poster
Rating: ★★
Man Whose Dreams Change the World When He Wakes

This was the second film adaptation of conceptually ingenious Ursula Le Guin novel about a man whose dreams change reality around him whenever he wakes up

The Hound of the Baskervilles (2002)

The Hound of the Baskervilles (2002) poster
Rating: ★★★★
Sherlock Holmes Film/Ghostly Dog Mystery

A new and extremely good adaptation of the Sherlock Holmes story featuring Richard Roxburgh as Holmes. This offers some radical shakeups of the story and characters

Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde (2002)

Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde (2002) poster
Rating: ★★★★
Evil Personality Within Unleashed

Excellent tv movie adaptation of the Jekyll/Hyde story starring John Hannah. This is mounted with exquisite period detail and brings new depths and interpretations of an oft-told tale

The Glow (2002)

The Glow (2002) poster
Rating: ★★
Sinister Health-Obsessed Seniors

This rehashes the basic set-up of Rosemary’s Baby but with a spin where a couple move into the perfect apartment only to find their neighbours are health obsessed seniors with a sinister agenda

Saint Sinner (2002)

Saint Sinner (2002) poster
Rating: ★★
Demonic Succubi

Clive Barker based work about a monk pursuing two demonic succubi through time to the present. Clive Barker watered down for the Sci-Fi Channel but worth watching for the imaginative creature effects

When Good Ghouls Go Bad (2001)

When Good Ghouls Go Bad (2001) poster
Rating: ★★½
Children's Halloween Film

Halloween film for children from the pen of horror author R.L. Stine of Goosebumps fame. The children’s horror story (and tv movie) is filled with many insipid and formulaic entries but this is a decent one that is not unafraid to scare people

The Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)

The Phantom of the Megaplex (2000) poster
Rating: ★★
Phantom in the Multiplex/Kid's Caper Movie

A Disney Channel film, this has the amusing idea of translating The Phantom of the Opera to a modern multiplex and telling it as a children’s story

The Hound of the Baskervilles (2000)

The Hound of the Baskervilles (2000) poster
Rating:
Sherlock Holmes Film/Ghostly Dog Mystery

Another adaptation of the Sherlock Holmes quasi-supernatural mystery. This is also one of the worst ever thanks to the wildly over-acted, scenery chewing performance from Matt Frewer, badly miscast as Holmes

Flowers for Algernon (2000)

Flowers for Algernon (2000)
Rating: ★★
Experiment Turns Intellectually Handicapped Man Into a Genius

Matthew Modine stars in the remake of the classic story about an experiment that turns an intellectually handicapped man into a genius. Everything comes in the simplistic emotions of a tv movie