Illang: The Wolf Brigade (2018)

Illang: The Wolf Brigade (2018) poster
Rating: ★★
Anime in Live-Action/Future Anti-Terrorist Squad

The anime Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade was a fascinating play of metaphors that mixed terrorism and Little Red Riding Rood. This is a live-action remake from South Korea

Gamer (2009)

Gamer (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
Future Live-Action Videogames

Film somewhere between Counterstrike and The Running Man where convicts are controlled as avatars inside a live-action videogame. A difficult to believe premise that is pumped up with hyper-adrenalised action visuals

House of the Dead (2003)

House of the Dead (2003) poster
Rating: ★½
Zombies/Videogame Adaptation

The first of Uwe Boll’s videogame adaptations and the beginning of his bad director reputation. This is a zombie film by the numbers but it was at the forefront of zombie film revival of the 2000s

Prophet (1999)

Prophet (1999) poster
Rating: ★½
Action/Psychic Powers

Fred Olen Ray and Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson combine forces on a low-budget action film about psychic powers. The action scenes are competent but the film lacking in the script department

Death Race 3: Inferno (2012)

Death Race 3: Inferno (2012) poster
Rating: ★½
Future Prison/Gladiatorial Road Races

By tthis third film, the Death Race series is straining trying to find something original to do with a ry limited premise. The Death Race now takes place in the South African desert but the action scenes prove monotonous

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) poster
Rating: ★½
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The fifth of Michael Bay’s Transformers films. This comes with more of an outright comedy focus than any of the other films where Bay seems to be second-guessing his critics and spoofing his own peccadilloes in quote marks, only to produce the silliest entry in the series yet

Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998)

Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998) poster
Rating: ★½
Undead Super-Soldiers/Action

he second of two cheap video-released sequels to the Jean-Claude Van Damme film. This has the novelty of featuring Burt Reynolds as the bad guy

Adrenalin: Fear the Rush (1996)

Adrenalin: Fear the Rush (1996) poster
Rating: ★½
Near Future Action/Cops Pursue Deadly Infectee

An Albert Pyun action film with police officers Christopher Lambert and Natasha Henstridge pursuing an infected man through the sewers of a future quarantine zone

Underworld: Awakening (2012)

Underworld: Awakening (2012) poster
Rating: ★½
Vampire-Werewolf War

Yet another entry that nobody asked for in a conceptually threadbare series that nobody seems to like … passably better than the last two sequels due to some ok action moves but still empty-headed in terms of ideas

Alone in the Dark (2005)

Alone in the Dark (2005) poster
Rating: ★½
Videogame Adaptation/Monsters

Uwe Boll gained a reputation as the world’s worst director on the basis of his videogame adaptations. Prize exhibit was Alone in the Dark, which abandons the game and is a series of action scenes without explanatory rationale

Class of 1999 (1990)

Class of 1999 (1990) poster
Rating: ★½
Killer Android Schoolteachers

Mark L. Lester’s follow-up to his earlier The Class of 1982 about a teacher forced to adopt vigilante actions in a lawless classroom. In the interim, The Terminator came out and this now has killer android schoolteachers

Aces Go Places 4: You Only Die Twice (1986)

Aces Go Places 4: You Only Die Twice (1986) poster
Rating:
Hong Kong Slapstick Action

Fourth in a series of energetic Hong Kong slapstick action capers. The film has no pretence to anything more than providing a new action sequence every five minutes, although by now the level is juvenile

Critical Mass (2000)

Critical Mass (2000) poster
Rating:
Action/Nuclear Power Plant Hijacking

Low-budget Fred Olen Ray action film is another variant on Die Hard with security guard Treat Williams foiling a terrorist hijacking of a nuclear power plant. For some reason this also includes reuse of footage from Terminator 2

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Underworld: Evolution (2006) poster
Rating:
Vampire-Werewolf War

The second of the Underworld films where Len Wiseman gets a bigger budget and amplifies the CGI and action sequences,. On the other hand, the characters and story are so stripped to a minimum you lose track of why things are happening

Turkey Shoot (2014)

Turkey Shoot (2014) poster
Rating:
Human Hunting/Near Future Reality TV Show

Remake of the Ozploitation film where the original’s Most Dangerous Game scenario set in a dystopian future is lamely rewritten as a reality tv show and another Hunger Games ripoff. The original was fairly terrible; this has a lack of conviction in most regards that makes it even worse

BloodRayne (2005)

BloodRayne (2005) poster
Rating:
Videogame Adaptation/Vampire War

Another Uwe Boll’s videogame adaptation, this feels slung together from vampire film and sword and sorcery cliches. Among the badly mismatched casting, the most eyebrow raising is Ben Kingsley as the vampire villain

Battleship (2012)

Battleship (2012) poster
Rating:
US Navy vs Alien Invaders/Boardgame Adaptation

Adaptation of the Battleship boardgame that emerges at best as wannabe Michael Bay. Imagine Pearl Harbor mashed up with a Transformers film and lots of bone-headed glorification of American militarism

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) poster
Rating:
Action/Advanced Weaponry

Sequel to Under Siege in which Steven Seagal was a lone individual in a Die Hard scenario defending a battleship against a terrorist takeover; this is the same but with Seagal defending a train

Chappie (2015)

Chappie (2015) poster
Rating:
Artificial Intelligence/Robot Becomes Self-Aware

Neill Blomkamp’s film about A.I. turns into Short Circuit dropped into the militarised future of RoboCop. Of all the rich possibilities in the idea, all we get is a goofy comedy with a pimped-out carjacking robot

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2005) poster
Rating:
Vampire-Werewolf War

Third of the Underworld films, a prequel to the previous entries. In truth, it is just the same as the others – lots of kinetic action moves and Gothic poses with little in the way of plot

Terminator Genisys (2015)

Terminator Genisys (2015) poster
Rating:
Time-Travelling Killer Androids

A hodgepodge of competing elements – an aging Arnold Schwarzenegger, a soft reboot, alternate timelines, reintroduction of the familiar, twists to the familiar – that make no sense on a narrative level, least of all come anywhere near what James Cameron delivered back in the first two films

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) poster
Rating:
Time-Travelling Killer Androids

After the highs of James Cameron’s first two Terminator films, this was a crashing disappointment. Schwarzenegger is back but his performance has become self-parody and the uninspired action sequences are accompanied by some terrible effects

Tekken: A Man Called X (2014)

Tekken: A Man Called X (2014) poster
Rating:
Videogame Adaptation

Nobody seemed to care about Tekken, the 2010 film based on the popular videogame. Despite that, this is a sequel – albeit one that has almost nothing to do with the first film. This consists of nothing more than a series of efficiently unmemorable action scenes and a plot that makes no real sense

Vice (2015)

Vice (2015) poster
Rating:
Rogue Pleasure Android

Bruce Willis is the CEO of a corporation that provides customers with androids to use for whatever vices they want. Very similar to tv’s recent Westworld but has a script so boneheaded you can almost imagine it acted as an example for Westworld to do the exact opposite

Lara Croft, Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003)

Lara Croft, Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003) poster
Rating:
Videogame Adaptation

The first Tomb Raider film was empty-headed but a hit but the series was then killed off by this sequel. Angelina Jolie’s performance is detached from human emotion and the action sequences ludicrous

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) poster
Rating:
Interdimensional Combat/Videogame Adaptation

Sequel to the Mortal Kombat film. While the first film was fun, here anything resembling plot has been stripped away to concentrate on fight scenes such that the film blurs into a single shapeless action sequence

Firebird 2015 AD (1980)

Firebird 2015 AD (1980) poster
Rating:
Car Races in a Dystopian Future

Canadian film set in a dystopian future where private use of cars has been banned and Darren McGavin is among the aging car aficionado who race custom cars in defiance of the authorities

First Light (1992)

First Light/Blink of an Eye (1992) poster
Rating:
Action/Psychic Soldier

Dreary action film with Michael Paré as a soldier with the army’s psychic warfare unit who is sent on a mission to rescue a girl from the hands of terrorists

Freejack (1992)

Freejack (1992) poster
Rating:
Future Body-Snatching/Time Travel

Emilio Estevez is snatched into the future and pursued for his body by bounty hunter Mick Jagger in an SF film that makes no sense at all. A film more worth watching for some bizarrely awful performances

Future-Kill (1984)

Future-Kill (1984) poster
Rating:
Killer Cyborg

Low-budget attempt to make a Cyberpunk film. Essentially The Warriors with New Wave fashions as a group of frat boys are pursued by a relentless, psychopathic cyborg

Ghost in the Shell (2017)

Ghost in the Shell (2017) poster
Rating:
Live-Action Anime Adaptation/Cyberpunk Future

This US-made live-action adaptation of the cult anime is a disaster on every level. The original’s haunting meditation on the dividing line between machine and human is diluted to being no more than a Cyberpunk action film

Hard Target 2 (2016)

Hard Target 2 (2016) poster
Rating:
Human Hunting for Sport/Action

Hard Target was one of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s better films, featuring an on-fire John Woo as director. While most have forgotten it, we get a sequel here that copycats Woo’s moves to a point of tedium

Moonraker (1979)

Moonraker (1979) poster
Rating:
James Bond in Space

The eleventh James Bond film and one that sees that series trying to compete with the success of Star Wars and taking Roger Moore into orbit. One of the most spectacular productions of the series, it is also killed by a cartoonish unserious tone

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) poster
Rating:
James Bond Film

Ninth and weakest of the James Bond films. Ian Fleming created a great nemesis in the assassin Scaramanga and the film casts it with Christopher Lee – only to fail to write the role interesting enough for Lee to fill

The Fifth Element (1997)

The Fifth Element (1997) poster
Rating:
Space Opera/Showdown Against Ultimate Evil

A big-budget space opera from Luc Besson. This offers a dazzlingly designed future but the plot is an inane hodgepodge of bad SF elements with a tone that flails between action and camp

Cross Wars (2017)

Rating:
Action Team vs Immortal Villain

Cross was a low-budget attempt to copy The Expendables, featuring a C-list team of action stars (plus some fantasy elements). This is a sequel you doubt many people were burning to see

The Scorpion King: Rise of a Warrior (2008)

The Scorpion King: Rise of a Warrior (2008) poster
Rating:
Sword and Sorcery

Prequel to The Scorpion King. Unfortunately director Russell Mulcahy allows his broad hand with comedy free reign and the plot is overrun by glib character banter and constant flip modern one-liners