xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)

xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) poster
Rating: ★★
Extreme Adventure Sports Spy

xXx, with Vin Diesel as an extreme sports junkie version of James Bond, was ridiculous. This second sequel surprisingly turns out halfway watchable, keeping the stunts moving fast and introducing an ensemble to build this out as a Fast and the Furious-type franchise

xXx (2002)

xXx (2002) poster
Rating:
Extreme Adventure Sports Spy

One of the most brainless action films ever made. This has the laughable notion of trying to make a James Bond film but recasting it with Vin Diesel as an extreme sports junkie. Everything about the film is absurd.

The World is Not Enough (1999)

The World is Not Enough (1999) poster
Rating: ★★★½
James Bond Film

The third and best of Pierce Brosnan’s outings as James Bond. All the aspects of the formula are contained within a strong plot and Sophie Marceau proves a standout in a role that combines both villain and love interest

Waterworld (1995)

Waterworld (1995) poster
Rating: ★★
Post-Holocaust Drowned Earth

The most expensive film ever made at the time, a Kevin Costner epic in which he is a lone mariner in a drowned world where survivors cling to shantytowns floating on the surface. Essentially a Mad Max film located on water.

Virtuosity (1995)

Virtuosity (1995) poster
Rating: ½
Android Serial Killer

Director Brett Leonard started the fascination with Virtual Reality off with The Lawnmower Man but shot himself in the foot with this absurd braindead follow-up in which Denzel Washington pursues a madly OTT Russell Crowe as an android serial killer

Vice (2015)

Vice (2015) poster
Rating:
Rogue Pleasure Android

Bruce Willis is the CEO of a corporation that provides customers with androids to use for whatever vices they want. Very similar to tv’s recent Westworld but has a script so boneheaded you can almost imagine it acted as an example for Westworld to do the exact opposite

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) poster
Rating:
Undead Super-Soldiers/Action

Sequel to Roland Emmerich’s Universal Soldier, this brings back Jean-Claude Van Damme but otherwise substitutes a brain dead plot that has him facing an evil A.I.

Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009)

Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
Undead Super-Soldiers/Action

The fifth of the Universal Soldier films reuniting both Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, while being given a tough, brutal action punch by director John Hyams

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012) poster
Rating: ★★★
Super-Soldiers/Action/Identity Bender

Sixth entry in the series, this throws out all the themes the previous sequels operated by and feels like a Universal Soldier film written by Philip K. Dick with utterly fascinating results. John Hyams hits in with a brutal intensity that shows he is one of the most exciting up and coming action directors

Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998)

Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998) poster
Rating: ★½
Undead Super-Soldiers/Action

he second of two cheap video-released sequels to the Jean-Claude Van Damme film. This has the novelty of featuring Burt Reynolds as the bad guy

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2005) poster
Rating:
Vampire-Werewolf War

Third of the Underworld films, a prequel to the previous entries. In truth, it is just the same as the others – lots of kinetic action moves and Gothic poses with little in the way of plot

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Underworld: Evolution (2006) poster
Rating:
Vampire-Werewolf War

The second of the Underworld films where Len Wiseman gets a bigger budget and amplifies the CGI and action sequences,. On the other hand, the characters and story are so stripped to a minimum you lose track of why things are happening

Underworld: Awakening (2012)

Underworld: Awakening (2012) poster
Rating: ★½
Vampire-Werewolf War

Yet another entry that nobody asked for in a conceptually threadbare series that nobody seems to like … passably better than the last two sequels due to some ok action moves but still empty-headed in terms of ideas

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) poster
Rating:
Action/Advanced Weaponry

Sequel to Under Siege in which Steven Seagal was a lone individual in a Die Hard scenario defending a battleship against a terrorist takeover; this is the same but with Seagal defending a train

Ultraviolet (2006)

Ultraviolet (2006) poster
Rating: ★★★
Dystopian Future Action/Vampire Mutations

Milla Jovovich is a part of a vampire rebel underground in a dystopian future. A film filled with incredible design schemes and action scenes that are as spectacular as they are ridiculously improbable

2019: After the Fall of New York (1983)

2019: After the Fall of New York (1983) poster
Rating: ★★
Post-Holocaust Action

One of the more cheesily entertaining among the Italian-made ripoffs of Mad Max 2 during the 1980s (as well as more than a few dashes of Escape from New York). The film works up a moderate head of steam

Turkey Shoot (2014)

Turkey Shoot (2014) poster
Rating:
Human Hunting/Near Future Reality TV Show

Remake of the Ozploitation film where the original’s Most Dangerous Game scenario set in a dystopian future is lamely rewritten as a reality tv show and another Hunger Games ripoff. The original was fairly terrible; this has a lack of conviction in most regards that makes it even worse

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) poster
Rating: ★½
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The fifth of Michael Bay’s Transformers films. This comes with more of an outright comedy focus than any of the other films where Bay seems to be second-guessing his critics and spoofing his own peccadilloes in quote marks, only to produce the silliest entry in the series yet

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The first of Michael Bay’s Transformers sequels has even better effects and more copious mass destruction to the point it washes over you without any effect

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) poster
Rating: ★★
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The third of Michael Bay’s Transformers films. While the human scenes opt for a ghastly miscalculated sense of humour, the effects houses are at the peak of their game, even if Bay allows them to drag the mass destruction out to a numbing excess

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) poster
Rating: ★★
Live-Action Transformer Robots

Are there any new creative directions that Michael Bay feels he he has to explore for a fourth Transformers film? All the Transformers beating the crap out of each other and copious mass destruction has become hard to tell one of the films from each other

Total Recall (2012)

Total Recall (2012) poster
Rating: ★★½
Virtual Memories/Reality Bender/Action

I was never a particular fan of the Schwarzenegger original and this improves on it somewhat. This is far better conceived as an action film with some amazing Cyberpunk designs. On the other hand, the two decades interim has made the story’s Philip K. Dick-ian reality bendings seem commonplace

Total Recall (1990)

Total Recall (1990) poster
Rating: ★★
Virtual Memories/Reality Bender/Action

Adaptation of a Philip K. Dick story is killed by being turned into an Arnold Schwarzenegger action vehicle and by director Paul Verhoeven’s burying the reality bending subtleties of the story under bludgeoning ultra-violence

Tomb Raider (2018)

Tomb Raider (2018) poster
Rating: ★★
Videogame Adaptation

This reboot of the film series based on the videogame franchise is a mixed affair. Certainly, the perpetually non-acting Angelina Jolie is replaced by Alicia Vikander who gives Lara Croft living, breathing emotions

Terminator Salvation (2009)

Terminator Salvation (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
War Against the Machines

The fourth Terminator film is slightly better than you would expect of something directed by the empty-headed McG. There are some undeniably spectacular action sequences, although the film still stands too much in the shadow of what has gone before

Terminator Genisys (2015)

Terminator Genisys (2015) poster
Rating:
Time-Travelling Killer Androids

A hodgepodge of competing elements – an aging Arnold Schwarzenegger, a soft reboot, alternate timelines, reintroduction of the familiar, twists to the familiar – that make no sense on a narrative level, least of all come anywhere near what James Cameron delivered back in the first two films

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) poster
Rating: ★★
Time-Travelling Killer Androids

The sixth Terminator film that boasts the return of both James Cameron and Linda Hamilton to the franchise. After the troughs of Terminator: Genisys, this makes one forget about the last three sequels

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) poster
Rating:
Time-Travelling Killer Androids

After the highs of James Cameron’s first two Terminator films, this was a crashing disappointment. Schwarzenegger is back but his performance has become self-parody and the uninspired action sequences are accompanied by some terrible effects

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Terminator 2 Judgment Day (1991) poster
Rating: ★★★★
Time-Travelling Killer Androids

The first sequel to The Terminator where James Cameron returns with the biggest budget for a film at the time. Cameron harnesses then top-drawer CGI technology to create one of the most original nemeses in any SF film

The Terminator (1984)

The Terminator (1984) poster
Rating: ★★★★
Time-Travelling Killer Android

One of the 2-3 most influential SF films since 1980. James Cameron creates a barrelling powerhouse of a film, all lorded over by Arnold Schwarzenegger as the relentless killer machine in the role that defined his career

Tekken: A Man Called X (2014)

Tekken: A Man Called X (2014) poster
Rating:
Videogame Adaptation

Nobody seemed to care about Tekken, the 2010 film based on the popular videogame. Despite that, this is a sequel – albeit one that has almost nothing to do with the first film. This consists of nothing more than a series of efficiently unmemorable action scenes and a plot that makes no real sense

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
Videogame Adaptation

Sequel to the 1994 Street Fighter film based on the videogame, this provides the wall-to-wall action that the first film needed but falls down with a wimpily miscast heroine

Street Fighter (1994)

Street Fighter (1994) poster
Rating: ★★
Videogame Adaptation/Action Team

Based on the popular videogame, you cannot complain that this is exactly what you expect – wall-to-wall action, comic-book heroes and villains. The complaint might be that the action is never particularly enervated and the film lacks anything beyond that

Stealth (2005)

Stealth (2005) poster
Rating: ★★
Artifically Intelligent Fighter Plane Amok

Action film about an artificially intelligent fighter plane that goes amok. Rob Cohen directs in all the cliches of the genre and the seeming need to have something spectacular happening every few minutes

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) poster
Rating: ★★
James Bond Film

The tenth of the James Bond films, the third for Roger Moore. This determines to be spectacular in terms of international locales, effects and sets. It was also the point where the Moore Bond films started to become giant cartoon spectacles of the absurd

Split Second (1992)

Split Second (1992) poster
Rating: ★★
Satanic Alien Serial Killer

A mishmash of Alien copy and supernatural serial killer film set in a drowned future London with a script that makes no real sense. The film’s buddy cop relationship starring Rutger Hauer does have its amusements.

Spectre (2015)

Spectre (2015) poster
Rating: ★★
James Bond Film

The fourth Daniel Craig James Bond film welcomely resurrects one of the great nemeses from the series past – only to fall flat on its face. This is a Bond film severely hampered by a director unattuned to the classical elements of the series and the need to cripple everything by giving Bond backstory and character development

Spacerage: Breakout on Prison Planet (1985)

Spacerage: Breakout on Prison Planet (1985) poster
Rating: ½
Interstellar Prison Escape

SF action with Michael Paré convicted to a prison planet from which he attempts to organise the prisoners to make an escape. This is essentially a Western that takes place in SF terms

Sleeping Dogs (1977)

Sleeping Dogs (1977) poster
Rating: ★★★
New Zealand Dystopia

The cornerstone of the modern New Zealand film industry – the first film of both Sam Neill and Roger Donaldson – a vigorous dystopian action film that offers up a nightmare of sleepy parochial 1970s NZ being brutally overrun by the imagery of totalitarianism

Silent Rage (1982)

Silent Rage (1982) poster
Rating: ★★
Action Film/Resurrected Psycho

A Chuck Norris horror film! One of his earlier films where Chuck is pitted against a psycho who is resurrected from the dead and becomes a near-invincible killing machine

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) poster
Rating: ★★½
Marvel Comics Martial Arts Superhero

The Marvel onslaught continues with this resurrection of a martial artist superhero character from the 1970s. Amid the mostly ho-hum MCU offerings of the 2020s, this becomes an energised action vehicle

The Sector (2016)

The Sector (2016) poster
Rating: ★★
Alternate World Criminal

Variant on the alternate world hopping theme where a bounty hunter finds the person he is pursuing is an alternate world criminal. The film’s budget is way too low to do any justice to either the theme or the setting after the collapse of civilisation

The Scorpion King: Rise of a Warrior (2008)

The Scorpion King: Rise of a Warrior (2008) poster
Rating:
Sword and Sorcery

Prequel to The Scorpion King. Unfortunately director Russell Mulcahy allows his broad hand with comedy free reign and the plot is overrun by glib character banter and constant flip modern one-liners

The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015)

The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015) poster
Rating:
Sword and Sorcery

Fourth entry in the eminently forgettable sword-and-sorcery series, this heads down into bad movie stakes by writing a series of grating quips over everything, while the action scenes exist in the realm of unbelievability that show that nobody is treating anything with the slightest seriousness

The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012)

The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012) poster
Rating: ★★
Sword and Sorcery

The best of an otherwise lightweight, throwaway series. Roel Reiné directs some good action scenes, even if the hackneyed plotting never lets the show rise to anything more than average

The Running Man (1987)

The Running Man (1987) poster
Rating: ★★
Action/Future Televised Gladiatorial Combat

This adapts one of Stephen King’s Richard Bachman novels but the book is sidelined to become an Arnold Schwarzenegger action comic-book on the oft-used theme of a future where people compete in televised gladiatorial games

Rome 2072 (1983)

Rome 2072 (1983) poster
Rating: ★★
Future Gladiatorial Combat

Lucio Fulci was a cult Italian horror director. This was the only occasion that Fulci visited the SF film, a low-budget ripoff of Rollerball by way of Mad Max featuring futuristic gladiatorial games