Tarzan Finds a Son (1939)
Fourth of the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan films, the point where John Sheffield’s Boy enters the series because the Hays Code required that Jane could not get pregnant
Target Earth (1954)
An entry from the 1950s alien invader film fad. This starts well with survivors finding themselves in a deserted city but takes a nosedive with the introduction of a clunky robot
Bailey’s Mistake (2001)
Strange Disney tv movie in which widow Linda Hamilton moves to a small town where the people seem able to do magic
Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
This seems to want to do for the lesbian vampire film what Shaun of the Dead did for the zombie film. Alas, the film makes its appeal fairly and squarely into the crude, sexism of British lad culture
Timber Falls (2007)
By the numbers Backwoods Brutality where a woman is imprisoned by crazed backwoods fundamentalists in order to bear them a child
The Mist (2007)
Frank Darabont delivers one of the best Stephen King adaptations where the story of people at siege in a supermarket from unseen creatures in a mystery fog outside becomes a study in fear and prejudice. With one of the great unforgettable endings
Contact (1997)
Carl Sagan’s novel about SETI is inflated into a big budget film determined to impress even though the story did not need it. Sagan’s interesting debate about religion and science is emasculated so as not to offend any religious groups
Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006)
Oddball film set in an afterlife for suicides. You keep expecting the film to burst out into a vein of rich black comedy that never comes and you are left with a film that feels as though it is being eccentric for the sake of it.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)
Another of Uwe Boll’s videogame adaptations and one of his better. Boll is seeking to emulate the 00s epic fantasy fad and succeeds with some great action choreography from Ching Siu-Tung
The Space Children (1958)
One of the less remembered films from Jack Arnold who directed a number of 1950s SF classics in which the children of rocket engineers are used by an alien force to sabotage a space launch. Not one of Arnold’s greats but still a modestly effective work.
Gunheavy (2008)
Ingenue effort from debuting director Angelo Lopes depicting soldiers in combat in the ruins of civilisation
Night at the Museum 2 (2009)
Sequel to the Ben Stiller hit offers more of the same with a bigger museum and more exhibits come to life but little else
Life or Something Like It (2002)
Bland romantic comedy with a miscast Angelina Jolie as a tv newswoman who receives a prophecy of her death and begins to reconsider her life
Knowing (2009)
Alex Proyas seemed a promising genre director during the 1990s. Here Nicolas Cage finds a time capsule that predicts a series of disasters, before the film tangents off into a strange Biblical End of the World scenario
Barbie as Rapunzel (2002)
The second of the animated Barbie films, this casts her as the title character in the popular Brothers Grimm fairytale, which has been considerably embellished. This suffers the glassy plasticity of the early Mainframe films
Angels & Demons (2009)
Ron Howard and Tom Hanks follow up their adaptation of The Da Vinci Code by turning to an earlier Dan Brown novel concerning conspiratorial goings-on in The Vatican but the show collapses amid absurdly contrived plotting
Star Trek (2009)
J.J. Abrams revives the Star Trek franchise by recasting it with younger faces and rewriting continuity. But in the appeal to a hipper, sexier vibe, it feels a long way from Gene Roddenberry’s creation – nowhere in evidence is the original’s concern with galactic politics and social issues of the day
The Tingler (1959)
The finest moment from gimmick master William Castle with Vincent Price as a coroner searching for a parasite that feeds on fear. Full of Castle’s luridly sensationalistic effects and containing the first portrayal of an LSD trip on screen.
Eve’s Bayou (1997)
Actress Kasi Lemmons directs a strong African-American Coming of Age story set in a backwater Louisiana town, one where voodoo is a regular part of the culture
The Tiger’s Tail (2006)
John Boorman makes a film where Brendan Gleeson has his life taken over by a doppelganger
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)
From the period when Matthew McConaughey was coasting through romcoms without making any effort. This rewrites A Christmas Carol where playboy McConaughey is visited by the ghosts of three ex’s
Fright (1971)
A modest and well directed psycho-thriller from the Anglo-horror cycle with Susan George as a babysitter stalked by a deranged Ian Bannen
Manhunt of Mystery Island (1945)
A fifteen chapter serial about a villain who uses an atomic device to transform into a dead pirate captain. Filled with some wonderfully exciting action set-pieces and cliffhangers
Dead Sexy (2001)
An erotic thriller where detective Shannon Tweed must go undercover as a call girl to find a killer eliminating girls at the agency. A blatant copy of Basic Instinct
Flight of Fury (2007)
A blatant copy of the Clint Eastwood film Firefox where Steven Seagal is sent to retrieve a hi-tech stealth bomber that has been stolen by a rogue colonel
The Wizard of Mars (1965)
Low-budget film about an expedition to Mars The novelty the film holds is that it attempts to rework The Wizard of Oz in SF terms
V: The Final Battle (1984)
Follow-up to the popular V mini-series, this is an absurd melodrama that is made up of incredibly bad science-fiction writing and directed with zero plausibility
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005)
Not a seventh sequel to Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, this adapts the videogame of the same name. Dazzling anime action but is take-no-prisoners with explanations about what is happening to non game players
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
After the disaster of X-Men: The Last Stand, the decision was made to give a whole film over to the series’s most popular character, Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, and to go with a prequel that told his origin story. Largely a film that exists as a series of superheroic action scenes
Badlands (1973)
Terrence Malick’s first film, very loosely based on the murder spree of Charles Starkweather, albeit one where Malick reinvents Starkweather and girlfriend Caril Fugate as innocents adrift in the great American landscape
Siegfried (1924)
The first of a two-part silent Fritz Lang film based on the Teutonic legend. Lang directs with an epic visual majesty that rivals today’s Lord of the Rings films
Serendipity (2001)
Romance film where John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale meet and leave their details on random items in the belief luck will bring them back together
They Came Back (2004)
A French zombie film that is about as far removed from a zombie film as it possible to get – the dead inexplicably return to life not to eat the flesh of the living but calm and detached where society’s problem is how to let them return to their previous lives
Guilty as Charged (1991)
Black comedy in which Rod Steiger sets up a private prison to execute the guilty that get away. Halfway between a vigilante film and a gonzo comedy, this never settles on what it wants to be and only comes out a frenetic farce
Thicker Than Water The Vampire Diaries Part I (2008)
Strong and well written independent film about a vampire family trying to survive in the modern world
Wicked Little Things (2006)
Despite being pitched as a zombie film, this is more of a ghost story featuring undead children who were killed in a mine disaster. Director J.S. Cardone does well with the horror elements
Passport to Pimlico (1949)
Charming post-War Ealing Studios comedy where the London suburb of Pimlico declares themselves a separate country
Primeval (2007)
One of several killer crocodile films that came out in 2007. This has some big-budget CGI effects but is cliched and was overshadowed by far better entries from the same year with Rogue and Black Water
The Luck of the Irish (2001)
A Disney Channel film where Ryan Merriman discovers that he is the child of leprechaun parents. A mad pastiche of Irish culture, related to the earlier film in name only
17 Again (2009)
Ageswap fantasy in which middle-aged Matthew Perry is rejuvenated as a teenage Zac Efron. A glib fantasy that seems made by abstinence campaigners
Dragonball: Evolution (2009)
Disastrous and miscalculated live-action Hollywood version of the anime series. which turns the characters into just regular teenagers. Nobody involved seems to be making any effort.
Race to Witch Mountain (2009)
Revival of the Disney Witch Mountain films of the 1970s. Now the films have been dragged into the post-X Files era and flashy effects added to negligible result
Synecdoche, New York (2008)
Mind-bending Charlie Kaufman meta-fiction in which Philip Seymour Hoffman creates a vast theatre project that drags on for years and starts to merge into his own life
The Uninvited (2009)
The Hollywood remake of the South Korean ghost story A Tale of Two Sisters that waters down and reduces the effectiveness of the original to generic shocks
Youth Without Youth (2007)
Francis Ford Coppola film that came out the same time as The Case of Benjamin Button where Tim Roth regains his youth after being hit by a lightning bolt
Genius Party Beyond (2008)
An anthology of short anime pieces from five different directors. Episodes range from traditional anime and Cyberpunk to mind-expanding surrealism
Species: The Awakening (2007)
Fourth entry in the Species series where at least the series seems to have gravitated to the arena of the trashily absurd B movie it belongs
Thirst (1998)
Rather dull plague outbreak drama tv movie based around a deadly outbreak at a water filtration plant
Lost Horizon (1973)
Stodgy, bloated musical remake of the 1937 classic about the discovery of a lost valley in the Himalayas that holds the secrets of immortality. With an awkward looking all-star cast
Monsters vs Aliens (2009)
Cutley appealing DreamWorks animated film that brings together a bunch of oddball creatures clearly intended as an affectionate homage to various 1950s sf films
Mind Ripper (1995)
Produced by Wes Craven and his son, this started as a third Hills Have Eyes film but ends up a generic Alien copy with a mutant monster hunting people in a desert laboratory
Kirikou and the Sorceress (1998)
The debut film from French animator Michel Ocelot, a beautifully simple series of African folk tales about a young boy whose plain-speaking truths outwit a witch
P2 (2007)
Tense and twist-filled thriller with Rachel Nichols trapped inside a carpark building by a psychopathic Wes Bentley
The Hitcher (2007)
Another disappointing remake of an 80s horror film, this misses the gripping suspense and everything that worked about the 1986 original and turns it into just another teen horror film
Lights Camera Dead (2007)
Rather witty low-budget slasher film that takes place on the set of a slasher film and pokes considerable at the process of filmmaking
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)
Third of the Underworld films, a prequel to the previous entries. In truth, it is just the same as the others – lots of kinetic action moves and Gothic poses with little in the way of plot
Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women (1968)
Another Roger Corman film made up out of footage recycled from Russian SF films and pseudnonymously directed by a young Peter Bogdanovich in a rather silly plot about astronauts encountering dinosaur-worshipping women on Venus
Lemming (2005)
A surreal very Lynchian French film in which a deranged Charlotte Rampling shoots herself and then afterwards appears to possess Laurent Lucas’s wife Charlotte Gainsbourg
The Astronaut Farmer (2006)
The Polish Brothers are a greatly underrated force in US filmmaking. Here they make a fine film with Billy Bob Thornton as an everyday farmer who decides to build and launch his own space rocket
The Mind Benders (1962)
Fascinating British film about an experiment in brainwashing where scientist Dirk Bogarde is made to change his personality in an isolation tank
Deadly Dreams (1988)
A dully directed imitator of A Nightmare on Elm Street, although a series of highly contrived twists eventually reveal that there are no dream horrors after all
Angel-A (2005)
Luc Besson makes a charming and funny film where a suicidal loser is aided by a tall and statuesque Rie Rasmussen who claims to be an angel sent to help him sort his life out
Dean Spanley (2008)
Adaptation of a Lord Dunsany story, this has an appealingly eccentricity – a film told as a series of after dinner conversations about a man recalling his past life as a dog – that works with winning charms
The Last Winter (2006)
A strong and effective environmental horror film from Larry Fessenden in which the crew of an Alaskan drilling operation disturb something beneath the frozen ground
Watchmen (2009)
Zack Snyder’s adaptation of Alan Moore’s groundbreaking graphic novel is exceedingly faithful to the original. Often called unfilmable, Snyder articulates the material in ways that quite surprise
The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)
Sequel to the 2006 remake of Wes Craven’s Backwoods Brutality classic (not to be confused with the sequel that Craven made to his original), this is premised around a series of extremely gory set-pieces
Happily N’Ever After (2006)
Another in the spate of animated fairytale parodies that came out in the wake of Shrek, this subjects Cinderella to an excruciating barrage of pop-culture jokes and one-liners
Highlander: The Search for Vengeance (2007)
The Highlander series conducts an anime variant on the franchise set in a post-apocalyptic future. Co-directed by Yoshiaki Kawajiri of Ninja Scroll fame who adds some highly stylised moves
Tintin and the Lake of Sharks (1972)
Animated adaptation of the Tintin character that gets the look and details of the characters just right but is ruined by bad dubbing of some of the voice parts and allowing a slapstick element to take over
Thinner (1996)
Adaptation of one of Stephen King’s Richard Bachman novels about an obese lawyer afflicted with a thinning curse. There are some great effects but the film’s moral messages come off as wrong
Skinwalkers (2006)
A big-budget revival of the werewolf film set amongst warring werewolf clans of bikers. Produced by Stan Winston and with an interesting cast line-up
Me Two (2008)
Lightweight French bodyswap comedy where aging rocker Alain Chabat and mousy bureaucrat Daniel Auteuil end up sharing the same body
Asterix at the Olympic Games (2008)
The third of the live-action Asterix films starring Gerard Depardieu as Obelix. This faithfully replicates the look and visuals of the original comic-books as the two head off to the Olympics
The Plague of the Zombies (1966)
Classic Hammer film, vividly made and rich in subtext, concerning aristocrats turning the peasantry into zombies to work in the mines
Lord of the Flies (1963)
A starkly effective film adaptation of William Golding’s classic novel about a group of British schoolboys stranded on a desert island in a plane crash and their descent into barbarism
My Bloody Valentine (2009)
Another in the fad for remakes of 70s/80s films. where the 1981 slasher film gets reworked. If this did not come with the 3D gimmick, it would be no more than a routine direct-to-dvd release
A Life Less Ordinary (1997)
Danny Boyle eccentricity with Ewan McGregor as an inept kidnapper and Cameron Diaz as his more astute abductee. A head-scratching comedy that also throws gun-toting angels into the mix
Spymate (2006)
Perhaps the lamest spy movie idea EVER – a children’s film about a spy who goes into action accompanied by a chimpanzee
Tarzan’s Secret Treasure (1941)
Fifth of the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan films and a thoroughly ordinary run through of the by now well-established formula of the series
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)
Classic silent version of the Jekyll and Hyde story. A reasonable if not truly standout version, dominated by John Barrymore’s highly melodramatic performance in the title roles
Friday the 13th (2009)
Another 1980s horror remake that had much potential. However, this proves to be just another Friday the 13th film by the numbers, albeit with a bigger budget, and widely misses the mark
Halloween (2007)
Another inferior entry in the mid-00s fad remake of 70s/80s horror films. Whereas John Carpenter gave us Michael Myers as evil incarnate, Rob Zombie gives us Michael Myers as a misunderstood and unloved kid
Necronomicon (1993)
Anthology of three H.P. Lovecraft tales from directors Christophe Gans, Brian Yuzna and Shusuke Kaneko. For claiming such a quintessentially Lovecraftian title as this, you feel that it should have been more than it is
Metamorphosis (2007)
A Countess Bathory film actually made by Hungarians (the area where Bathory lived historically). However, this promptly sinks into extremely bad movie territory
The Condemned (2007)
An action movie where the toughest criminals are forced into a barehanded survivalism competition against one another while this is livestreamed. As the hero, wrestler Steve Austin has zero charisma
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007)
Another cheap Disney made-for-video-release sequel. This at least offers the novelty of an alternate retelling of Cinderella but everything transpires predictably
Chapter 27 (2007)
A True Crime film based on the shooting of John Lennon. This is anchored by a strong performance from Jared Leto as shooter Mark Chapman that draws you into a disturbed headspace
Captivity (2007)
Blatant Saw copy from Roland Joffe, a director better known for his arthouse works, from a script by cult director Larry Cohen. This starts stylishly before collapsing in a series of ridiculous twists
1, 2, 3, Whiteout: The End of the Light Age (2007)
Baffling SF film that lacks anything resembling a plot and seems mostly an experimental film about showing pretty light patterns
The Day the Earth Caught Fire (1961)
Classic British end of the world movie that presents with enormous conviction a fundamentally implausible scenario in which nuclear tests tilt the Earth off its axis causing a massive heatwave and the attempts to right it
Shadey (1985)
An incomprehensibly, baffling film about a psychic that leaves you wondering what people were thinking when they were making it, let alone how it obtained funding
Jekyll + Hyde (2006)
A modermised retelling of the Jekyll/Hyde story as a teen horror film where Jekyll (Bryan Fisher) is experimenting with Ecstasy to try and have success with girls
The Seeker: The Dark is Rising (2007)
Adaptation of Susan Cooper’s popular fantasy series handled by people who have no interest in the material and badly rewrite/mangle it in order try to turn it into a Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings knockoff
L: Change the World (2008)
Spinoff from the Japanese Death Note films from Ring director Hideo Nakata featuring the weird detective L. L was a scene-stealer but this fails to come up with an interesting enough plot for him
The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002)
One of Disney’s cheaply produced video sequel to their animated film made during the 1990s/2000s. This one actually emerges as superior to the original
The Thief Lord (2006)
Children’s film made with care and attention, written and produced to an adult level, far superior to 95% of the US studio efforts
The Spirit (2008)
A real head-scratcher. Legendary comic-book writer Frank Miller directs an adaptation of the famous Will Eisner comic-book. A completely madcap film that deserves to be rediscovered as a cult classic
Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (2006)
Rapper Snoog Dogg fails badly at branding himself as a horror anthology host, while the stories prove nothing to write home about either
There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble (2000)
Film about a pair of magical soccer boots, so centred in its local sports culture that it is unlikely to have much appeal outside of its Manchester setting
Sheitan (2006)
French Backwoods Brutality film heads in some admirably weird and gross directions but falls apart at the end