Pink Floyd – The Wall (1982)
Film version of Pink Floyd’s best-selling album, an extraordinary surreal audiovisual dive into the fraying mind of a rock star
Stay Alive (2006)
This comes with the completely nonsensical premise of Countess Bathory having been reincarnated inside a videogame. Needless to say it is one that the film does nothing to make credible or even indicate it has read anything about the historical Countess Bathory
Saw IV (2007)
Fourth of the Saw films, the third under Darren Lynn Bousman who has placed an increasing emphasis on torturous extremes at the expense of credible plotting
Feed (2005)
The one really good film from Brett Leonard, director of The Lawnmower Man, this delves into the fetish community of feederism and determines to push the material to something provocative
George of the Jungle (1997)
Likeable live-action adaptation of the animated series, which was construed as a parody of Tarzan. The sight gags work well and the creature effects are accomplished
The House That Would Not Die (1970)
A routine haunted house film that was made as a tv movie,. One of the several early genre works made by celebrated tv producer Aaron Spelling.
Tin Man (2007)
Nick Willing conducts the first of his SF revampings of popular tales. Here The Wizard of Oz is reworked into a Steampunk fantasy with some startling reinterpetations of the familiar characters
The Water Horse (2007)
Earnestly made family film from Walden Media in which a young boy finds an egg that grows into the Loch Ness Monster
Tin Man (1983)
Earnest, sincere film where deaf Timothy Bottoms receives an operation that allows him to hear again, as well as builds an A.I.
I Am Legend (2007)
The third film version of Richard Matheson’s book is only a remake of the previous version The Omega Man. Crucially, this throws out the essence of the book for a far less interesting piece about Will Smith fighting mutants in the ruins
Future Kick (1991)
Cheap Cyberpunk action film that borrows the basics of Cyborg with Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson as android bounty hunter engaged in stopping corporate skulduggery
Frankenstein Reborn (2005)
One of the early films from The Asylum, this offers a modernised retelling of Frankenstein where some interesting attempts to find modern-day equivalents for parts of the story befall one of their usual low-budgets
In the Winter Dark (1999)
A film about mysterious happenings on a farm in the Australian Outback that creates an intensely haunted mood concerning something that might be lurking out there
Mr Vampire III (1987)
Third in the popular series of Hong Kong hopping vampire films. As in the previous entry, a frenetic slapstick element dominates
Population / 436 (2006)
Film about a sinister small town where the population must always be kept at the title figure. An interestingly strange scenario suffers from far too laidback direction
The Plague (2006)
Interestingly different film about zombified children set after a time when childbirth has died out. This generates a reasonable level of tension but arrives at a very confusing end
Once Upon a Mattress (2005)
Disastrous tv movie version of the classic musical based on The Princess and the Pea
Cloverfield (2008)
A J.J. Abrams produced film that was made under an absolute pall of secrecy. Released, it turns out to only be a fairly ordinary monster movie that is shot Found Footage style
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator Requiem (2007)
Second of the Alien/Predator crossovers and the absolute nadir of either series. Gone is the suspense of either series’ earlier entries and the creatures are now no more than standard monsters in a teen horror film
Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
The squeaky helium-voiced Chipmunks are brought to life via CGI in this live-action film, featuring the chipmunks causing chaos, cracking smart-ass one-liners and lots of pee and poop jokes. The results are excrutiating
Basket Case 3 (1991)
The third of Frank Henenlotter’s Basket Case films but by this point the perverse wit of the original has become replaced by a cartoonish absurdity
The Tale of Despereaux (2008)
Appealingly old-fashioned film about chivalry and heroism, much quieter than the other animation out there but this still holds its own
Doctor Strange (2007)
One among a handful of animated films based on Marvel Comics properties, this conducts a passable telling of the origin story of the Sorcerer Supreme
Murder in the Outback (2007)
A tv movie based on the true-life murder of hitchhiker Peter Falconio and the trial by media of his girlfriend Joanne Lees
Mr. Brooks (2007)
Overlooked effort where Kevin Costner, in a surprisingly dark and undeniably effective turn, plays an everyday man who has a dark side as a serial killer. A very impressively outing on all levels
Fascination (1979)
One of the films from cult French director Jean Rollin whose works always contained an arty mix of horror and erotica. This concerns mysterious blood-drinking rituals among a group of women at a chateau
Tarzan’s New York Adventure (1942)
Sixth of the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan films, this takes Tarzan out of the jungle to civilisation and is mostly played for comedy
Enchanted (2007)
Disney film where an animated fairytale princess emerges into the real world to become Amy Adams. This becomes the opportunity to wittily puncture the unreal world of the Disney fairytale
The Golden Compass (2007)
The attempt to create another Lord of the Rings went astray with this adaptation of Philip Pulllman’s fantasy series, which cut many of the core elements of the books so as not to offend religious conservatives
Exquisite Tenderness (1995)
A medical horror film concerning a disfigured surgeon killing his way through a hospital as he seeks revenge. This is notable for its degree of gore-drenched sadism
The Cat and the Canary (1978)
The fourth film version of the classic Old Dark House thriller, remade in the vein of the recent success of Murder on the Orient Express with an all-star cast of the day
The Last Mimzy (2007)
Adaptation of a classic SF short story about children’s toys from the future that give them expanded mental powers. Much of the story has been dropped in favour of banal New Age thinking
Bambi II (2006)
One of the better video-released Disney sequels churned out during the 90s/00s, this finds some of the innocence of the original even if it never scales the same heights
Crawlspace (1972)
A strange but compelling tv movie in which an aging couple befriend a homeless man they find living in their crawlspace and adopt him as a son of sorts
Altered (2006)
A fine film from The Blair Witch Project co-director Eduardo Sanchez about the tensions among a group of friends who hold a captured alien in their garage that then begins to affect them
White Light (1991)
Cheap badly directed film starring Martin Kove as detective who is shot but comes back haunted by visions of the afterlife
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
The first sequel to the Santa slasher film. This has become a bad movie classic because half the film brazenly consists of footage recycled from the first, while the other half is dominated by the hilariously bad acting of psycho Eric Freeman
The Great Yokai War (2005)
Takashi Miike jumps aboard the mid-00s fad for secondary world fantasy films, creating a realm of spirits where he and his makeup and creature effects team go absolutely wild
The Initiation of Sarah (1978)
A TV movie that has been construed as a blatant copy of Carrie where innocent Kay Lenz moves into a sorority house and finds occult goings-on around her
Entropy (1999)
An autobiographical film from music video and film director Phil Joanou, this comes with a number of surreal fantastical touches
Still Small Voices (2006)
TV movie in which Catherine Bell is a 911 operator who receives calls from a ghostly child
Sweeney Todd (2006)
Released before the Tim Burton version, this is a British tv production that offers a grimly realistic, non-musical historical portrait of Sweeney Todd with Ray Winstone in the title role
Hitman (2007)
Disappointing film adaptation of the videogame from Xavier Gens that comes with unremarkable action scenes, a script filled with holes and Timothy Olyphant miscast as Agent 47
Arabian Nights (1974)
Controversial director Pier Paolo Pasolini offers up a far more adult telling of the Arabian Nights than we are used to, not to mention one that goes on location in the real Arabia
The Puppet Masters (1994)
This adaptation of the Robert Heinlein novel was not a success when it came out but is a modest addition to the alien body snatchers genre with some undeniably effective moments
Proxima (2007)
Strong and intelligent Spanish film that readily homages Philip K. Dick in its mind-expanding story of a science-fiction fan being contacting aliens
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (2007)
Family film with Dustin Hoffman as the eccentric owner of a magical toyshop
Joshua (2007)
Another variant on the evil child theme, this suffers from far too mannered an approach where you keep waiting for it to pull back and sink its teeth into something shocking
Bee Movie (2007)
Appealingly nonsensical DreamWorks animated film written by Jerry Seinfeld who also voices a bee who befriends a human woman and then stands up against the exploitation of bees
The Last Dragon (1985)
A completely insane film that reads as a disco version of The Karate Kid via the 1970s Blaxploitation fad with the addition of mystical martial arts and played so over-the-top it defies belief
Monster from the Ocean Floor (1954)
One of the first films produced by Roger Corman, a routine B monster movie that has mostly been made around obtaining the use of a one-man submersible
A Knight in Camelot (1998)
A modernised version of Mark Twain’s A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court with Whoopi Goldberg as a physicist who time travels back to Camelot
Tuck Everlasting (2002)
Disney adaptation of a classic children’s novel about the discovery of a family in the woods who are immortal due to a magical spring
Stay (2005)
Marc Forster film that starts in with a beautifully filmed sense of disquiet mood and eerie reality disjuncts but loses it when it opts for another M. Night Shyamalan twist ending
Jack Frost (1997)
A film about a killer snowman. Conceived as a one-liner spouting villain and outfitted with a series of novelty Christmas-themed deaths, this does not take itself too seriously with rather appealing results
Twitches (2005)
Inane Disney Channel film with twin sisters Tia and Tamera Mowry as sisters who didn’t know it who discover they are witches. A film that has zero interest in its fantasy elements and is entirely taken up by airhead teenage airhead natter
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Mel Gibson wants to give us a film that shows Jesus’s suffering leading up to the Crucifixion but has taken it to such an extreme that he has actually created a Torture Porn film that gives the Saw and Hostel franchises a run for their money
Deep Rescue (2005)
This has an interesting premise of a returning space shuttle that crashes and sinks at sea and the attempts to rescue it. Alas, this has the misfortune of being produced on a minuscule budget and with pitiful effects
The Dead Girl (2006)
Karen Moncrieff directs a strong and powerful drama that tells five stories of the women whose lives are affected by a serial killer. The film has an amazing ensemble cast who deliver sterling performances
The Cold Equations (1996)
Film adaptation of a classic SF short story about a pilot having to make tough choices about a stowaway on a space mission. The story gets mangled in the need to expand it to feature length
Beowulf (2007)
After the success of the motion captured animated The Polar Express, Robert Zemeckis turned his attentions to the classic legend. Armed with a Neil Gaiman script and a host of name actors in the mocap suits, the result is a soaring fantasy
An American Haunting (2005)
Film based on the supposed real-life Bell Witch Haunting of the 19th Century. Director Courtney Solomon’s constant efforts to make us jump become so tedious that they produce no effect at all.
Alien Express (2005)
A ridiculous film with Lou Diamond Phillips pursuing aliens aboard a runaway train. Cliches are piled on with absurd effect and the show killed by cheap effects
The 3rd Floor (2007)
A low-budget ingenue effort by three friends about a tenant who discovers that the third floor of his apartment building contains the ghosts of dead asylum inmates
Pippi Longstocking (1969)
First of a series of Swedish-made live-action films based on Astrid Lindgren’s anarchic child heroine
Freedom Strike (1998)
Michael Dudikoff-starring action film about the use of advanced technology during a Middle Eastern war as Syrian terrorists hijack and threaten to fire US nuclear missles
Hush (1998)
Histrionic thriller that reminds of the various copies of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? in which pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow has evil mother-in-law Jessica Lange trying to steal her baby
The Game (1997)
David Fincher film in which Michael Douglas is wound into a conspiracy that makes him doubt everything around him. Fincher creates paranoia but the story eventually becomes an improbably contrived house of cards
Superman: The Last Son of Krypton (1996)
Pilot for the excellent Bruce Timm Superman animated tv series of the mid-1990s. This retells the Superman origin story, keeping great faith to the comics, while adding some fantastic action scenes
Death Proof (2007)
Quentin Tarantino’s less interesting half of the Grindhouse double-bill. Tarantino makes a film about a psycho stuntman but gets sidetracked by referencing 1970s car chase movies
The Devil’s Daughter (1973)
TV movie that copies Rosemary’s Baby as closely as copyright will allow with Belinda J. Montgomery encountering Satanists and the realisation she is the devil’s daughter
Fred Claus (2007)
A Christmas film with Vince Vaughn as Santa’s younger brother, a petty street hustler. A promising sarcastic tone falls into easy predictable routines and characters arcs
The Wicker Man (2006)
The 1973 version of The Wicker Man is a cult classic; this is one of the worst remakes of all time that gets nothing about the original right, blunts its themes about religion and tosses in crude shocks and killings
Flood (2007)
A British disaster tv mini-series that depicts London being overwhelmed by vast flooding and the struggle by civil authorities to cope
The Year Without a Santa Claus (2006)
Dull live-action tv remake of the Rankin-Bass stop-motion animated Christmas special
Mortuary (2005)
Another effort in the sad slide into shabby amateurishness that marked that latter years of Tobe Hooper’s career, a muddled effort set around a mortuary involving body-snatching fungus and deformed relatives in the crawlspaces
Cerberus (2005)
Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guards the entrance to Hades in Greek myth, is appropriated to become the focus of a standard md-00s CGI monster movie
Artificial Lies (1999)
Psycho-thriller in which Daphne Zuniga is a woman accused of the murder of her psychiatrist and may or may not have been faking her mental illness
Hercules Against the Moon Men (1964)
One of the numerous Italian peplum films of the 1960s featuring assorted body builders as Hercules. This pits Hercules against invaders from the Moon
The Emperor’s New Groove 2: Kronk’s New Groove (2005)
Another of the cheap made-for-video Disney animated sequels that were made during the 1990s/2000s, they tries to get by on association with its predecessor’s name
The Amazing Transparent Man (1960)
Edgar G. Ulmer gained a small cult reputation as a director. Here he makes a very cheap invisible man film, one that spends more of its time as a 1940s crime melodrama
The Return (2006)
Ghost story in which Sarah Michelle Gellar receives a series of mysterious visions as she travels across Texas
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
Third of the Resident Evil films. This expands the scale of action to show the entire world destroyed by the virus but for all that and a decent budget, director Russell Mulcahy fails to push the elements to a suitable head of steam
Ab-Normal Beauty (2004)
Oxide Pang, one half of the Pang Brothers. goes solo to make a film about an obsessive girl who enjoys photographing death and her journey into a very disturbed mental space
2001 Maniacs (2005)
Eli Roth-produced remake of the Herschell Gordon Lewis splatter film Two Thousand Maniacs, this plants tongue in cheek, is fairly and squarely aimed at a frat boy audience and unapologetic about piling on copious amounts of gore and naked breasts
1408 (2007)
Very spooky Stephen King adaptation about a haunted hotel room. In contrast to other haunted house films, this is a one-man show that keeps itself minimally contained inside the room with considerable effect
A Matter of Life and Death (1946)
British director Michael Powell creates the most visually stunning of all 1940s afterlife fantasies in lush Technicolor, depicting a heaven of dazzling architectural marvels
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
Prequel to the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, which sets out to tell the origin story of the cannibal family. New director Jonathan Liebesman pushes the gore and sadism to Torture Porn extremes
Battle Beyond the Sun (1963)
One of Francis Ford Coppola’s earliest films. Roger Corman has obtained rights to a Russian-made space expedition film and handed it over to Coppola who added a few extra scenes to repackage for US audiences
Spacerage: Breakout on Prison Planet (1985)
SF action with Michael Paré convicted to a prison planet from which he attempts to organise the prisoners to make an escape. This is essentially a Western that takes place in SF terms
The Virgin Spring (1959)
One of the classic works from Ingmar Bergman, uncreditedly remade by Wes Craven as The Last House on the Left, with Max Von Sydow as a virtuous farmer who is driven to vengeance after three youths rape and kill his daughter
Spectre (1977)
Another unsold Gene Roddenberry tv pilot, this would have made for a potentially worthwhile series involving Robert Culp and Gig Young as occult investigators
Turbulence (1997)
Ridiculous disaster movie where air hostess Lauren Holly must deal with serial killer Ray Liotta while trying to land the plane
When Night Falls (2007)
New Zealand-made horror film about two nurses being stalked at a remote hopsital
I Pass for Human (2004)
A film directed by Chris D, lead singer of The Flesh Eaters, about a heroin addict who starts to see ghosts. A strong portrait of addiction but less effective as a horror film
Rottweiler (2004)
Brian Yuzna usually makes well worthwhile films but this one about an escaped prisoner hunted by a killer cyborg dog fails to come together
Journey to the Center of the Earth (1988)
Ostensibly as a teen version of the Jules Verne novel made by Cannon Films. However, this started under one director and finished under another with totally incomprehensible results
Pulse (2006)
As part of the mid-00s fad for English-language remakes of Japanese horror films, Kiyoshi Kuroawa’s unfathomable but undeniably creepy internet horror is reworked as a standard teen film
Perfect Creature (2006)
Conceptually ambitious New Zealand made film set in an alternate history where vampires live alongside humans
The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz (2005)
The weakest of the Muppet movies where they are turned into the characters in a retelling of The Wizard of Oz